Embodied Birth Ease, Forty Years in the Making

Forty years ago I was lucky enough to begin my doula career witnessing broodmares foaling. Watching their calm undisturbed labors unfold instilled in me a deep trust of the process of birth. To be sure they went through pain and they WORKED, but their instincts were so strong on how to physically go WITH the process. My mare even knew what positions to take when one of her foals took an unusual position in the birth canal. The first hello nicker from the mare set the bonding into motion and the foals knew exactly what to do. Their first latch unfolded around a set pattern of reflexes and responses which, when left alone, guided the foal to reconnect physically with the mare via her teat. I was in awe of this embodied approach to birth which was so different than what I had been told about human birth. This set me on my birth career path. 

My path took me through my own looong hospital birth which negatively impacted my body. It wound through hundreds of births in hospitals, birth centers and homes. It called me to become more and more educated on all facets of birth, bonding, feeding, and parenting. It called me out to learn more about how to heal myself and others from birth. Now after 10 years of study in various hands-on modalities I have decided to completely revamp my birth classes.

After many years of teaching women all the things they DON'T want people to do to them in labor or birth, while at the same time trying to impart calm and fearlessness, I have come full circle. I have decided the BEST way to prepare people for labor is by helping them become more like broodmares. To get more into their bodies, into their instincts, and into the birthgiver baby connection.

So here it is. My new baby. 

          An Embodied Approach to Birth Preparation; Embodied Birth Ease

A NEW sensory based approach to birth education which helps you tap into your unique powers to bring forth life. Typical birth classes apply a one size fits all approach. In reality no two birthing people's physical and emotional history or structure is alike, therefore each of us needs to move through birth in our own way. My classes will get you in touch with your own unique positions and
movements which you can use to move through labor and birth with more ease. They will bring you into awareness of your individual body patterns and how to shift them as needed to birth vaginally. This series teaches deep physical and emotional self awareness and acceptance of what is currently happening in one's body and the temporary nature of sensation. Each participant's sensory perceptions of themselves drives the individualized nature of the learning and actions. This opens the door to instinctual birth, trauma informed personal care, embodied ways to communicate with those around you without the need to speak, and self directed movements, breathing and vocalizations based on sensory input from baby to birther. You will also learn your baby's current position, the positions he/she needs to take to move successfully through your pelvis, and how to support your wee one in their birth process. Using Ortho-Bionomy® I teach simple ways birthgiver or partner can tap into the body's innate corrective reflexes. I open minds to CranioSacral therapy's concept of an inner wisdom that resides in all of us which knows more than anyone outside our bodies or often even our own conscious brain.

These interactive experiential classes are based on my unique Moving Toward Ease gentle bodywork and my decades of doula experience. They are grounded by the principles of Ortho-Bionomy and Upledger CranioSacral work woven into Gail Tully's Spinning Babies information and the Institute for Birth Healing's Opening the Birth Door work.

Group or private.
Online or in-person (Currently only meeting on Zoom.)
FOUR Class Holistic Birth Series!
Week 1: Body Awareness; How to Help Move Yourself through the Birth Process
Week 2: Bringing Baby into Your Awareness; The Baby's Journey
Week 3: Learning the Mother/Baby Birth Dance; Putting It Together
Week 4: Staying Rooted Sets You Free
It can be taken at any stage of pregnancy.
It is encouraged for first time mothers, those preparing for a VBAC, or women who previously had long or stalled labors or pushing phases.
It is relevant no matter where or with whom you are planning to birth because your body is the birth giver.
Be prepared to be an active participant. A partner is helpful.

DATES: Labor of Love Events 

Don't see dates that work for you or want to do a private series? Contact me directly @ (805) 459-8145

Group FEE: $225 (per couple)

Private FEE $600

You must pay in advance at paypal.me/MTEpay
Please label your payment EMBODIED BIRTH EASE.

Once payment has been received you will receive an invitation to the private Facebook group attached to your class. Details on items to have on hand, pre-class "homework", what to wear and Zoom link will be posted there. 

Ortho-Bionomy is a registered trademark of the Society of Ortho-Bionomy International, Inc. and is used with permission.

A Spectrum of Pregnancy, Birth & Parenting Services to Meet Your Needs

After working with San Luis Obispo families for over 20 years I am more strongly committed than ever to helping families find what feels right to them for pregnancy, birth and parenting. I have a broad perspective and a depth of knowledge which is grounded in the work I have done with families making a wide variety of choices. As a doula I have been blessed to be part of over 100 births. Working beside doctors and midwives I have witnessed inspiring births both in and out of the hospital. As a birth educator I have impacted the births of several hundred babies and through my work with the Birth & Baby Resource Network, La Leche League, and the International Cesarean Awareness Network I have touched the lives of countless families in our community and beyond.

I offer a variety of support/education options to match your unique needs. Our journey together may start at any point along the spectrum. Please feel free to mix and match and make the exact support and education package that meets your needs. All classes are offered both as group or private experiences with flexible schedules.


Before You are Pregnant

Private consultations over tea: learn about options & resources in our community or review and process a past birth and discuss possible effects on future births. We can meet in the privacy of your home or at a coffee shop.                              

 

Early in Your Pregnancy

Classes: learn how to nurture your body, your baby and your relationships in my Healthy Beginnings/Healthy Choices classes.

                                                        

Preparing for Your Birth

Classes: My small group classes held, in the privacy of a home, foster a sense of belonging as we eat, laugh, learn and share together this amazing adventure. My Heart, Mind & Body series empowers and inspires you to create the birth you want.

For each class group I create a private on-line community for extended sharing of ideas, inspiration, connection and support which continues until your baby is sleeping blissfully in your arms.

Labor Land Practice: My Birth Connection Date Nights are serene spaces where all learning is experiential through relaxation, guided imagery and touch. The focus is encouraging oxytocin, the “love hormone”, to flow between you, your partner and your baby, and to teach you how to move through labor land together. These “practice” sessions are ideal for experienced birthers, homebirthers, or as an expansion of more intellectual birth classes.

Private Classes in Your Home: Every family has different needs; bed resting moms, changing schedules, or simply a desire for privacy. I try to be as flexible as possible to let you create your unique education package. Let my Class Outline be your guide. I am happy to create a series just for you!



Doula Service: I am happy to join your birth team no matter where you are planning to birth; home, birth center or hospital. We start building a trust relationship with prenatal visits in your home. Through listening I learn what you need and want to feel confident about your coming birth. I facilitate thinking and dialogue between partners to help clarify and prioritize what is important to them and help craft a birth plan which reflects these values while being well received by your care provider and staff.

I am available via phone, email or Facebook to answer questions and lend support throughout the pregnancy.

                    Once labor begins. . .

 I will stay continuously by your side
 where ever you are laboring until. . .

your baby has arrived. . .

and is blissfully breastfeeding for the first time!

I will visit your home a few days after your birth to ensure breastfeeding is going well, check on your postpartum recovery, and help you process your experience with tears, talking and laughter. I will answer questions, clarify and enlighten you on issues you may not have understood. I want you to have a thorough grasp of what happened, why, and how necessary it was, to empower you for future births.

After Your Birth

Private consultations over tea: When women suffer after a difficult birth experience it is very helpful to share your story to a listening heart who is knowledgeable enough to review your birth, answer your questions, and help you move forward in your process. I can connect you to resources for your recovery and discuss things you will need to think about for future births.

Private Postpartum Visits: I believe new mamas need to rest and adjust to motherhood in the comfort of their home. I am happy to travel to you. The first days and weeks of parenthood many new families need some additional guidance. A little hands-on help from an experienced mother/doula can give a new mama just the boost of confidence she needs.

Welcome to the parenting community!

Classes: My Fourth Trimester Parenting Support group meets every Tuesday from 10:30-12. I provide this free to the community because I believe deeply that women need support during this important transition in their lives to grow fully into confident motherhood.




Support Group: I lead a La Leche League Mothers’ Meeting once a month in the South County which is free and open to all mothers for breastfeeding advice and support.

 

Loving Guidance Workshops: These periodic workshops cover my Five Steps to Creating a Healthy, Happy, Whole Family empowering parents to move through the normal ups and downs of parenthood, take control of their own learning, and make their own decisions on how they wish to parent.

Support Group: I created “Whole”istic Mamas and Papas to provide community for families choosing to parent from an alternative point of view; attachment parenting, co-sleeping, extended nursing, baby wearing, individual vaccination choices, homeschooling, etc. It is a safe space; both in our face-to-face play day meet ups and private on-line group for asking questions, gathering information, sharing and learning from each other.













Parenting is much more fun when we share and play with others!

Let's connect! I am happy to answer questions and get you started on just the right path for you.            Call: 805.459.8145
jenniferstoverdoula@gmail.com

"Whole"istic Mamas Support for After Your Baby Arrives

You are invited to join my "Whole"istic Mama and Papas parenting support and social group! 

For the last twenty years I have been asked by moms who had attended my birth classes if  I would please start a mom support group after their babies came. Unfortunately I was too busy raising my son, being a wife, birth educator, doula, foreign exchange student teacher/coordinator and horse trainer and community birth advocate to say yes. In 2012 I finished my La Leache League leadership training and finally decided they were right. Moms who were choosing to parent from an attached perspective needed more support in our community. 

Because I have always viewed parenting as a dynamic constantly evolving experience I purposely chose to not call the group "attachment parenting". I wanted to encourage a broader spectrum of mamas to feel welcome. So I created the term "Whole"istic Parenting which I felt better reflected my views of parenting the whole child. At our meet ups and in our face book group I encourage mamas to make conscious choices for their child's physical, intellectual and emotional health. Research shows these are not distinct areas but are forever inseparably intertwined. 

The group offers mama-to-mama support and information sharing, as well as a social outlet with several park or play dates a month. The conversation is free flowing, covering whatever is on the minds of the attending mamas from sleep issues, balancing family needs, extended family, nutrition, traditional and alternative health providers, education, communication and more. As a veteran working mom, past home and public schooling parent, and La Leche League leader I gently offer guidance and resources. I ultimately believe mamas know the right path to choose for their unique family situation when given a small amount of nonjudgmental information and encouragement to listen to their heart. To receive invitations to our Blanket Babies & Toddler Time meet ups and join the on-line group feel free to friend me on face book and request to join.

I Grew up on Wonder Bread Sugar Butter Sandwiches; the confessions of a birth educator

Starting from Scratch 

I grew up on wonder bread sugar butter sandwiches; except it wasn’t even butter but soft margarine from a tub. I'd like to tell you otherwise. I'd like to say we only ate the freshest of the fresh, that my mom was an organic gourmet chef who had all the time in the world to spend in a kitchen and garden creating the healthiest food on earth. Instead my reality was a divorced mom who was trying to work and raise 4 kids. Yes she knew how to grow food, can food and cook food from scratch because she grew up on a farm in the Missouri Ozarks. That was part of the reason why she didn't do any of that anymore. She embraced the modern conveniences which blended science with abundance. I was a part of the "Tang" generation. Mornings were challenging getting all of us ready and out the door. Sometimes breakfast was Nestle Quik she had put a raw egg into stirred up and called an egg shake. This was better than the beer shake (same recipe just substitute beer for Quik) my dad sometimes had as a boy in Germany right? Once she even made us oatmeal cookie dough for breakfast. She was just glad to get the oatmeal into us without argument. We thought it was the greatest breakfast ever. Captain Crunch came camping with us and spaghetti from a can was often for dinner. So it's pretty ironic that I teach pregnant moms how to eat in my Healthy Beginnings classes and carefully peruse the food logs I require of my doula clients so I can counsel them on optimal nutrition for pregnancy. You could say I have had a long road to travel to become a healthy eater. Understanding my journey may help you tackle challenges on your nutritional road with less stress from guilt. Remember we are replacing cells in our body all the time so we can literally recreate ourselves. Click here to read the rest of my confessions.

Finding Your Path; two women's stories

A former doula & class client sent me a link to a blog piece by Cherylyn, a doula in Utah. Natalie knew I would be interested in this woman's journey of recovery from her first birth which was traumatic and left her feeling victimized and angry. Each of her next four births led her down a new path toward healing. On her journey she made many different choices for where, with whom and how to birth. Each birth was a necessary step in her process. In my classes and through my doula support I honor each woman's choice because I can't judge where she is on her path. It is my responsibility to give information and it is her responsibility to listen with an open heart for what resonates with her. Only she has the answers. Only she can access her intuition. It is my hope to support her in this process through my own intuitive listening so I can respond to her needs along the way. This is why I support women in all birth settings. This is why my classes are designed to teach couples no matter where, with whom or how they are planning to birth. My hope is to give them the tools to have a positive birth where ever they birth. Please read this article if you are preparing to birth or if you are in the process of physical and emotional recovery from a less than positive birth. Then sit quietly for a moment and take her message into your heart. Let it carry any feelings of guilt, doubt, or mistrust in yourself away.

Now let me tell you about Natalie. I met her and her husband, Tobin, at a Birth & Baby Resource Network event. When it came time in the circle for sharing their tears as they shared spoke volumes to me about the depth of their birth trauma. As the event broke up I approached them and encouraged Natalie to visit our SLO chapter of the International Cesarean Awareness Network, even though hers was not a cesarean birth. I knew that the circle of supportive women at their gatherings could help her heal her wounds. Unfortunately there is no local support group for women with negative birth stories except ICAN which is labeled a cesarean support network. Women with birth experiences like Natalie's aren't sure they would belong at an ICAN meeting. The women of ICAN would want me to stop here and say that these women absolutely are welcome and that supporting them is also part of their mission. Unfortunately the general public doesn't know that.

As Natalie's second pregnancy progressed we came to understand that not only had her birth left her with many emotional scars it had also left her with many physical ones. Like her emotional ones, these scars were hidden deep within her and they had the potential to threaten this new pregnancy. Bottom line; she was no longer the same inside and this pregnancy was therefore risky for Natalie and her baby. She was advised that the least dangerous route for her baby's birth was a cesarean. She listened to this advice. She listened to her intuition. She listened to her husband's fears. She listened to her desires. She listened to her body and she waited.

Natalie experienced an incredibly healthy pregnancy. She worked and mommied right through it. She blossomed and so did her baby; growing right on schedule, moving vigorously and letting her mom know she was doing fine. Natalie did a lot of talking, to Tobin, to me and to her doctor. She weighed all the different risks of having or not having a surgical birth; risks to her and risks to her baby. She knew what she wanted but was also willing to make needed changes or compromises. We brainstormed all kinds of possible scenarios for her birth. Then she wrote her birth plan. This plan was unique to her; not something you can download from the Internet with check off boxes. It encompassed many possible avenues for her birth to go. It was detailed. It was flexible. It was respectful and grateful to the people she knew she was going to need to rely on to see her safely through. Then she listened to her body and she waited.

When her water broke I believe all three of us held our breath and made a silent prayer that all would be well. Then Natalie and I released our breath and went to work creating as much normalcy to this labor as possible. But I don't believe Tobin let go of his breath until both mom and baby had come safely through. Natalie carried herself in labor as she does in life, with quiet unassuming strength and graciousness. You would never guess at the depth of her determination, or physical and emotional strength. Tobin told me she can be stubborn but he forgot to also tell me how courageous she is. Immediately after the vaginal birth of her beautiful baby girl she began to have an issue which required her doctor to step in and Tobin, the baby and I to step out. Natalie kept her composure throughout while Tobin died a thousand deaths holding his baby and waiting for news about his wife. For him life stood still and minutes felt like an eternity. All I could do was reassure him that she was in good hands. Dr. Yin and the French hospital staff knew how to take care of her; that's why she had chosen to birth here. In what was actually a very short time he received the news he was longing for; Natalie was fine and would be reunited with him soon. But I don't think Tobin breathed until he saw Natalie's pretty face again; all smiles and wanting to put her new baby girl to breast.

So why did I decide to tell you about Natalie? Because she knows a thing or two about healing, about listening to your intuition, about creating the birth that is just right for you and your baby. Your choices may be different than hers. You may listen to her story and think, "I would never put my baby at risk like that." That's fine. You are entitled to your feelings and if your heart had told you to make a different choice than Natalie's I would support you in that choice. But this was Natalie's choice and it brought her very far along her path as she journey's toward complete healing. So I understand why Cherylyn's story resonated with Natalie. I get it. Do you?

           Thank you to Natalie and Tobin for inviting me to accompany them on their journey!

To Read Cherylyn's piece about her choices as she journeyed toward healing visit her blog: Mamas and Babies

Why Should I Bother with Birth Classes?

Recently I have been asked this question by two very different women. Both are intelligent first time pregnant moms who desire natural non-interventive labor for themselves and gentle births for their babies. One has already done a considerable amount of reading, hired a midwife and has made the choice to birth at home. What more could she get out of classes, she wonders? The other has a belief in herself and birth which is rooted in her family history, her agricultural history and in her personality. She also witnessed a birth which went so differently than the Bradley birth her relative had planned that she feels her money is better spent on a doula.

I don't remember what I said to these women but here is what I wish I had the presence of mind to say in the moment. Yes, you should take classes! Classes serve many purposes. It is more than just learning the stages of labor. It is more than learning the normal psychological markers, the comfort measures or tools to help you flow with the intensity of the birth process. A good class should give you much, much more.

First as new parents it is vital to create community. Bringing forth a new life isn't just about the baby's life. You are literally bringing forth your own new lives. A new life means transition and transition is stressful. You will need to surround yourself with other new moms and dads. Now you're thinking, "But I have lots of friends who have already had babies." Great! Lots of wisdom can be drawn from friends and relatives who have kids, but talking with others who are just as confused and unsure at times as you creates a shared experience. This is support of a different kind. When you talk with them about lack of sleep, sore nipples, or the color of your baby's poop you'll be thinking, "Oh, you get what I am talking about because you are going through it too. I'm not alone. I'm not crazy." Every support group is founded on this principle.

A good childbirth class is a great place to start building community. It needs to be an environment that goes beyond simply giving you facts, advice & techniques. A good class fosters friendships through the sharing of thoughts & feelings, doing class activities or projects and breaking bread together. The class should bring both humor and intimacy to the subject of birth while always honoring each participant's unique journey toward the arrival of their child. This is an environment where friendships can blossom. After the babies arrive getting together for walks, talks, beach time or play time friendships can deepen. They show up at Andrea Heron's class or La Leche League. You walk into a SLO Parent Participation class or library story time and there they are. Your world suddenly seems smaller in a safe and secure way. This is building community within our larger community. New parents, new families need community.

Now what about the fact that many women who have decided they want a "natural" childbirth have already done a ton of reading? They have read great books, watched movies like The Business of Being Born, researched things on line and even watched You Tube videos of births. What more education could they need? All that is great but let's face it very few dads are motivated to share that particular journey with you. Sure you can corral them and ask them to watch this amazing You Tube birth or read them passages out of a book you are devouring from cover to cover but very few men are going to feel as compelled as their partner to steep themselves in birth, birth & more birth. As a matter of fact, the more she does, the more he may feel he doesn't have to because she is the one who is having the baby, right? She is doing such a bang up job getting educated so he can just relax. On top of that, if you are making decisions about the birth based on things you alone are reading and then telling him what you want, he may feel there is no point to reading or expressing his opinion; you've already made up your mind. These may be wonderfully supportive partners but they are hovering outside of the picture.

Classes help dads! I can't say that enough. Classes help dads. They invite them into the process. Men naturally come late to thinking about the birth. Actually they often come late to connecting with the baby in any concrete way. This is normal because they aren't the ones feeling it grow and move inside them. Believe it or not when they witness their baby being born it almost seems to take them by surprise that there really is a baby. A good class allows dads to connect with their own journey towards birth and parenthood. They gain the education they need through active participation instead of reading & research which suits many fathers better. There is time, space & support given for dads to express their feelings, beliefs, fears and desires surrounding the process and what lies ahead. They are honored as fathers, lovers and humans.

Classes most especially help dads who have witnessed past births that traveled down traumatic paths, such as c-sections or home birth transports. These dads need special care as they struggle to support a woman who is determined to have an un-medicated vaginal birth while carrying the fears left over from the past birth. It is vitally important that the couple has come together as much as possible before the birth and good classes help.

Good classes help you analyze and express your beliefs about the choices surrounding birth. They put you in touch with the values & fears that are informing your personal choices. Having to verbally express our values & fears can bring up buried thoughts, crystallize our perceptions and distill our feelings. Hearing what others value or fear is a powerful tool in learning about ourselves. Clarity of these issues on both sides can lead to respectful communication if your partner is of a different opinion. Clarity of values & fears can lead to a more open and empowering dialogue with your care provider.

Being pregnant is a process that unfolds over time. The way you feel about something at 12 weeks may be vastly different than the way you feel at 30 weeks or 38 weeks. The best time to take classes is the last 2 months of the pregnancy. The series needs to be 7 to 8 weeks long so that friendships have time to grow and so do the couples. Good classes encourage the couple to get in touch with where they are in the process now and where they would like to be eventually. They practice. They prepare. They rehearse. They live in the moment and open themselves to the possibilities of the future. Yes, you should take birth preparation classes. You will come away more confident in birth, more sure of yourselves and your abilities, more connected to your partner, more aware of your choices, more able to dialogue with your support team and just plain more ready.

These two expectant moms were right though. Many classes aren't worth taking. Classes that only focus on the physical biological aspects of birth are a waste of time. Classes that focus only on one tool or technique for labor are hopelessly incomplete. Classes that are only 4 weeks long give the couple no opportunity to grow or change. Classes that are taken the last month of pregnancy give the couple no opportunity to change course if they come to the realization through their class work that they want to go down a different path. Classes that honor only one vision of what birth should be like are disrespectful to the amazing complexity of the human race. Classes that only impart the guidelines and routines of the place of birth & care provider disrespect pregnant couples' abilities to make wise choices for themselves and their babies. These classes are an obvious attempt to dis-empower women and their partners. By all means take classes but choose wisely who you ask to "educate" you.

For more information about my classes. Also there are many excellent independent birth educators in SLO County. We each have a slightly different focus. It is important to find an educator you feel comfortable with. Most of them can be reached through the Birth & Baby Resource Network's on line Resource Guide.

*********************
Here is another birth educator/blogger's take on this same issue.

From Mama Birth:
If You Are Asking My Opinion- Yes, You Need A Birth Class

In full disclosure, before I get started I should probably own the fact that I do teach natural childbirth classes for money. (I don't make much money at it, but you deserve to know that.) So you can take what I am about to say as just shameless self promotion and fear mongering.

~
I often hear this sentiment :

"Women have been giving birth for 1000's of years. You don't need a class to give birth."

What is interesting about this quote is that I hear it both from medical doctors who are very intervention happy or dislike natural birth and from people planning to home birth.

At the risk of offending everybody who reads this, I have got to address this idea. Because frankly, this just usually is not the case. Let me tell you why.

Women HAVE been giving birth for 1000's of years-

Yes, women have been giving birth for a long long time. The mechanisms of birth worked the same with the first birth as they do today in the modern woman- contractions, dilation, pushing, baby, placenta. But the CULTURE of birth is constantly changing.
How many of you have attended a live birth? How many of you have attended multiple births in person? How many of your husbands have?

A woman a thousand years ago most likely was around birth. She was at the births of her siblings or cousins or nieces and nephews. She learned to help the mother after the labor. She saw women breastfeeding. A 1000 years ago women were actually AROUND birth. Birth was something that really only women understood.

They didn't hide it in hospitals and close it behind a door and a cloak of mystery and fear. It was a normal part of life.

Not only did they see it, they talked about it, supported each other in it, and had traditions surrounding it. We have traditions surrounding birth too, but they don't do much to teach women about the actual mechanics and how to cope with birth and labor naturally. Today when women talk about birth they talk about epidurals and pain and what they were allowed to do. This can be wonderfully helpful in preparing you for the typical hospital induction birth. It does not however do much to prepare you if you are planning on birthing naturally.

Women being surrounded by other women who had birthed naturally also creates a very different birth culture. Being in a weekly class with others in your same situation and with the same goals can re-create that "birth culture" for you today. Having a teacher who has done what you are planning a few times herself also gives you somebody to ask questions and proof that natural birth is possible, even if you don't know many people who have done it.

A 1000 years ago women didn't birth in the hospital-

A large part of the classes I teach focuses on preparing women to navigate the hospital system. The truth is, if you are planning on birth in the hospital and going natural, you need to really know what you are doing. You need to know how to relax well without medications in a place where they are readily available. You also need to be aware of the purpose and ways to avoid common interventions, drugs, and procedures in the hospital.
Women didn't have to do this 1000 years ago. There are huge advantages to hospital birthing- but combining it with a natural approach is often tricky. Thus the class.

And your partner? What was he doing a 1000 years ago?

The modern woman almost always wants her husband at the birth with her. Not only that she wants him to be involved, helpful, loving, and basically fantastic.

I don't know how to say this nice, but....good luck with that if he doesn't know a thing about birth and is scared crapless of the entire idea of something huge coming out of your vagina.

Many women are self motivated enough to learn about birth and study and practice relaxation on their own. After all, they realize that THEY are the ones who have to give birth. Women are often very invested in baby and the experience long before it happens.

Men a 1000 years ago were probably not part of the birth process. But today, women expect them to be there. If you want him to be helpful, to understand what is normal, to know what a crowning baby looks like, and to know how to do a double hip squeeze, he needs a class.

My classes focus on the partner a LOT. If I can get dad comfortable, excited, and confident in your ability as a couple to have a natural birth, then I feel much better about the couples ability to do this. If mom is looking forward to this and knows her stuff, but dad is scared, doesn't know why you sound like a ghost, and just wants you to get an epidural because he wants you to be helped but he doesn't know how to help you, then we have another beast altogether.

But I am birthing at home-

I know- I still think that a natural birth class can be helpful in preparing a mom to birth at home. There are two reasons for this.

1) A good class won't just cover birth- it will cover preparing for a healthy pregnancy and staying low risk. I have seen more than one home birth mama end up having a baby in the hospital because baby came early because of poor nutrition. Some things just go wrong and can't be prevented. But some things CAN be helped with an awesome diet. You can learn about this on your own, but I notice that people focus more on how they are taking care of themselves when they are asked about it weekly by their friendly birth teacher.

When I ask people to keep track of everything they eat, they really pay more attention than they do just because they read something about the Brewer Diet online. A class helps keep you accountable while surrounding you with a supportive group of women and men.

2) Even if you birth at home, you still need to actually LABOR. Birthing at home might prevent some common interventions, but it doesn't get you out of the work involved in birthing a baby. I have talked to many a midwife who has home birth mamas who have no coping mechanisms in place for their birth.
Losing control is a natural part of birth- but knowing how to relax and do it well can help keep that to the normal, baby is almost here, minimum. A mother who is very stressed out, fearful, and unfamiliar with the birth process, can have difficulty with laboring from the very beginning and throughout the entire process. If you throw in a partner who also is freaking out, you can really change the process in a negative way.

A good birth class doesn't just talk about what happens in a chart- it teaches you how to handle it.

~
The truth is that not everyone really needs a class. I am not going to tell you that I KNOW that you do. But I do often see people who don't think they needed a class and it turns out they really could have benefited from the knowledge, the confidence, the time to prepare with their partner, the skill it gave their partner, and the nurturing friendships with like minded people.

One of my favorite things to see is how a couple's relationship grows in class. They learn to rely on one another. They learn to trust each other more. They grow together as we discuss relationship issues that arise during the time of pregnancy.

In the end a great childbirth class really just teaches you how to tune in to what you already know how to do innately. Then, you CAN birth more like women did 1000 years ago- naturally and with faith in your body.

For more information about my classes. Also there are many excellent independent birth educators in SLO County. We each have a slightly different focus. It is important to find an educator you feel comfortable with. Most of them can be reached through the Birth & Baby Resource Network's on line Resource Guide.

Fresh New Pregnancy & Birth Book for Men

Finally a book by a man, for men about pregnancy and birth! As a birth educator and doula for 20 years I have read many wonderful books about birth, but I felt none of them was the kind of book a man would pick up on his own to read. Instead men have been reading the books their pregnant wives would ask them to read; the books that were full of info the women wanted their husband to know. But "Baby Daddy", by Clayton Connelly, is a book full of information men want to know. It is one dad’s humorous look at his personal journey through his woman’s first pregnancy. Connelly’s approachable writing style mixes laugh-out-loud personal experiences with sage advice from a dad who’s been there; sprinkled with just the right amount of facts and important information to open the eyes of a birth novice and get them thinking. "Baby Daddy" is the perfect gift for that friend who just found out the pitter patter of little feet is soon to be entering his life. Trying to find a way to break the news? Why not wrap it up and give it to your man or casually leave it on top of his fine bathroom literature. Although it is meant to be read in stages to go with each trimester, I guarantee once he starts he won’t want to put it down.

Clayton & his wife Jessica took my classes to prepare for the birth of their first child. Read this book to find out what was going on in Clayton's head during my classes.

Hear what the author has to say about the book: http://www.babydaddybook.com/Site/Baby_Daddy.html

Why You Need to Create a Balanced Healthy Harmonious Pregnancy

Two new books delve into an issue I have been educating women about for almost 20 years: “Origins: How the Nine Months Before Birth Shape the Rest of Our Lives” by Annie Murphy Paul and “More than Genes,” by Dan Agin, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago. They explain what current science and studies tell us about the effect creating a balanced healthy pregnancy has on your baby later in life. Actually they are looking into the connection between an unbalanced, unhealthy life style during pregnancy and the outcome for your baby later in life. Several studies have shown how your baby's weight at birth can have health effects for him or her in midlife. Now their is evidence that suggests pregnant women exposed to stress, pesticides, junk food, poor nutrition, illness and other factors may have a life long impact on their children's health and mental abilities. Childbirth educators, doulas and midwives have been telling expectant moms this for years.

Long before we had scientific studies to prove this it just made sense to me. Why? Because of what we know once your baby is outside your uterus about the long term health benefits of giving your baby the ideal nutrition it needs through breastfeeding. Your breastfed baby has less chance of ending up with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis or asthma. As an adult he or she has a reduced risk of getting diabetes, Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, as well as, having a healthier cholesterol level the rest of their life. To top it all off breastfed babies have higher IQs. So if feeding your baby exactly right after they are born has all this impact it only makes sense to me that feeding your baby well when they are inside you must also have an impact. Actually I believe it may have an even greater impact because of the magnitude of the creation process going on in utero. You are building your baby one teeny component at a time and the complexity of the finished project is miraculous. You are setting up their nervous system, their hormonal system, their brain and the chemical balance within it, as well as digestion, respiratory, circulatory and eveything else. We know that as an adult a healthy lifestyle through diet, exercise and low stress impacts all of the interconnected body systems I just mentioned and greatly improves our chances of living a long productive life. How can it not have a profound impact on your baby in utero.

Part of me hesitated to post about this because I hate laying guilt on mothers. But another part of me said if this information could encourage just one pregnant woman to make some life changes that would impact her baby for life it was worth more maternal angst. Get healthy before you conceive. Or the minute you know you are pregnant start making choices that will benefit you both. If you need information or support in your quest for a healthy pregnancy contact me about joining my Healthy Beginnings class series.

To learn more about this issue: Nicholas Kristof's op ed piece in the New York Times.

Breech Birth: Turning Her Plans Upside Down!

This is the story of Zoe's birth at French Hospital in 2009 and a mother's difficult decision to let go of her vision of the birth and growing into acceptance of a scheduled cesarean birth.

For me, there was no better choice than to have my baby naturally, no drugs and as few interventions as possible. That was the plan. But as most women who have a baby, ‘the plan’ is rarely followed. You can prepare for birth but not plan, I know that now.

My husband and I decided knowledge was the best tool to being prepared for our daughter’s arrival. So we took a very extensive, thorough birthing class. We learned about nutrition, the history of birth, birthing options, physiology of birth, pain management, interventions, and the newborn. These classes made me feel positive, ready and prepared.

I wasn’t entirely comfortable with a home birth. I would have loved to have a birthing center, but that option did not exist, so we opted for a hospital birth. Because of this, we felt hiring a doula was even more important for ‘game day’. Our doula was someone we felt could help us navigate the decisions we inevitably would have to make but did not know what they would be yet.

Week 36 of pregnancy rolled around and I was feeling ready, prepared, but anxious about all the unknowns. We were about to run into our first big ‘unknown’. We went to my weekly doctor’s appointment and as my doctor felt my baby bump, she decided she was no longer convinced that what she thought was the baby’s bottom, up by my ribs, was in fact her bottom. Yep, this baby was breech. What does this mean? What do I do now? What are my options? Could this have been determined earlier?

For the next two weeks, I dropped everything else in my life and put all my energy into trying to convince my breech baby to turn. I researched breech babies and the possibility of having a breech baby vaginally and decided that was not an option for me. So I set out to try to convince my baby to turn. I was in the breech tilt for most of the week. I took warm baths and put cold peas at the top of my belly. She moved, she didn’t like the cold on her head, but she didn’t turn. I did acupuncture and worked on relaxation. I tried a homeopath from my chiropractor. I did hand stands in the pool. All of this encouraged movement, but not turning. My last attempt was a manual version, where the doctor tries to manually turn the baby. Nope, this baby was set in her ways and was going to stay breech.

For a while I felt defeated that I could not get my baby to turn. This was just another piece of evidence that birthing stories are not in our control. I had about 2 weeks to process the fact I’d be having a c-section, I was thankful for that time. After all this time of preparing myself to NOT be in control (which is hard for me, but I was ready to just give myself over the process), all of a sudden I was picking my baby’s birthday and working around ER and doctor schedules. It felt weird, wrong, and inorganic. Luckily I have a very supportive husband, family and friends who helped me process this very drastic change of events. I had one friend list all the things to look forward to with a c-section (some silly, some serious).

When December 18th finally came, we had an appointment to have our baby. I never really got past the fact that in was really weird to schedule a birth, but the excitement of being able to meet my baby overtook any lingering disappointment I may have had. The c-section was flawless and in a moment, a scheduled moment, I became a mother, we became a family. At that point, I didn’t care how Zoe arrived, because she arrived safely and was healthy. I was able to have her with me in the recovery room and she nursed within a ½ hour of being born. It wasn’t the birth I planned for, but it was the birth that we got, and that is a-ok with me.
To me the moment Zoe's mom became a mother was when she chose to do what she felt was right for her baby and put aside her dreams for herself.

Healthy Beginnings/Healthy Choices

Getting Your Pregnancy Off to a Great Start!

This is a new 3 class series focusing on pregnancy as opposed to labor & birth. For maximum benifit it should be taken as early as possible during pregnancy.

Healthy Beginnings for Baby
Viewing pregnancy as a state of health
Understanding the building blocks of a great pregnancy
Nurturing ourselves and our babies through nutrition & exercise

Making better choices
How our choices early in pregnancy can affect third trimester complications
What is getting in our way?

Unlocking the mystery of prenatal care

Healthy Beginnings for a Family
Bridging the gap between men & women's journeys through pregnancy

Enriching your relationship during this special time
Using communication & understanding to build strong bonds

A window into the miracle of creation

Healthy Choices for our Births
Freeing yourself to create the birth you want
How Did We Get Here?
Understanding how our past & our present influence our choices in childbirth.

Homebirth as the standard for normal birth & why
Issues of safety vs. risk
Your choice; doctor or midwife?

Components of a positive birth
Positive births can happen everywhere

Intro to Parenting 101 a Prerequisite to Parenting 102

Sitting in the inviting warmth of Colby and John's holiday decorated living room sharing food, sharing friendship, sharing stories. Listening to the buzz around me of women exchanging tips on where to buy used baby clothes, making arrangements to meet for yoga in Grover Beach, or talking about how helpful an alternative health care provider was for them. Watching the expectant parents watching Hattie, Sarah and Ryan's beautiful little blond haired toddler, interacting with Hurley, Colby's friendly little dog. Seeing the dawning of the realization that soon they will be parents too. Seeing Sarah and Renee never miss a beat in their conversations as they confidently latch their babies on and breastfeed in front of everyone, even the dads. Hearing the stories. How Kate, from Santa Maria, changed care providers during the last week of pregnancy in order to ensure she would successfully birth her twins vaginally with the midwives in Dr. Krumhout's office. How Sarah's Hattie was born at home with a Licensed Midwife but her youngest Tillie who was supposed to be born at home needed to be born at French Hospital and how Ryan caught on the bathroom floor there because Sarah said no to moving to the bed and Dr. Goodrich and the nurse were fine with that. How Jennifer, a professor at Cal Poly, is still processing why she made the choices she did during her first birth but accepts and understands it more now through the eyes of her second birth. How Renee, from Pismo Beach, had to learn to give in to the idea that labor wasn't something she could control and in that process how close she came to getting the epidural she had sworn before labor began she didn't want. So much learning going on effortlessly, person to person and seeing my couples drinking it all in; about to go through the initiation that is the key to joining the Parent Club, their ticket to the greatest adventure of their lives.

This was the final class, the Returning Parents Potluck. I love this class. I get to reconnect with my past clients and see their adorable babies. I get to listen to how they are growing as parents, the challenges they have been facing and the sweet sweet bliss of those first days, weeks and months of babymoon time. I get a glimpse into how their births affected them as women and men, mothers and fathers, husbands and wives. None of them are the same people I met at our first class. Doorways in their hearts have opened creating new selves, forever.

I love teaching my birth class series. I have come to believe that preparing for birth has many dimensions. Yes, understanding the biological process is important. Yes, learning coping skills and relaxation techniques is important. Yes, learning how to be a good birth consumer and the importance of standing up for the birth you want is important. But there really is something more, something that isn't easily imparted in a larger more institutional setting. An intangible something that is at the core of what I try to impart to my couples. Pregnancy, birth and parenting is a time of amazing growth and in my classes I try to facilitate that growth. I try to create a safe place where all choices, thoughts and feelings are respected. A space where over the weeks bonds between couples spring up naturally. A space which encourages open communication between partners. We do simple thought provoking class work that spills over into discussions and sharing that continues beyond class and into cars or bedrooms. The time spent brings us all closer and creates a sense of community. I guess in my classes I am "doulaing" the birth of these new families.

Thank you to Sarah and Ryan, Renee and Travis, Kate and Tim, and Jennifer for giving the gift of your wisdom by sharing your stories.

Sheila & Marks Thoughts

Dear Jennifer,

We would like to thank you for the time and energy which you put into our weekly sessions. It was a very good thing to be so well equipped with information on procedures and interventions. We required very little in terms of explanations as our ordeal unfolded. You are very, very good at what you do, Jennifer. You burst with both knowledge and enthusiasm and possess a wonderful ability to transmit information. Many thanks,

Sheila and Mark

Class Outline

The Nuts & Bolts: Understanding Giving Birth

The physical process of normal birth from beginning to end

Exploring our beliefs

Homebirth; a window into how women’s bodies birth & the importance of Ina May & the Farm

Learning the lingo of birth professionals

Shifting our consciousness: Do our words matter?

Reclaiming the pushing stage

Relaxation; how & why

Yoga breathing for birth

Becoming an Educated Consumer 

Communication, the cornerstone of preparing a good birth team

Understanding the benefits, risks & limitations of medical choices

Choices in pharmaceutical pain relief

Stepping off the natural birth path; the domino theory & birth

Working within the system to achieve the birth you want

The art of negotiation

Claiming your territory

Being proactive about episiotomy
Role playing

If a Problem Arises 

Putting emergencies and complications in perspective

How much do you know?

Let’s review

Putting things in perspective

Understanding when & how to be part of the decision making team

When to turn your birth over to the pros & what they can do to make it come out right

Understanding grief & the shadow side of birth

Reconnecting with the safety, ease & simplicity of birth

Facing Our Fears

Exploring our fears

Actively preventing our fears from becoming our reality

The power of positive affirmations

Positive cesareans?: Understanding the process & your choices

Keeping your dreams for your birth intact

Owning your responsibility for your birth

Exploring our beliefs

Birth plans: how & why

The sounds of birth

Letting go of your fears
The sounds of birth: group vocalizing! 

The Forgotten Side of Birth; Our Emotions

Traveling through Labor Land: recognizing normal psychological sign posts

Delving deeper into the mind/body connection

Exploring our beliefs

Dealing with emotional blockages

Birth as part of our sexual life?

Working with birth “energy”

Learning to be “present” for her through your touch & intent

Birth Rehearsal
Relaxation and visualization practice

Teamwork

Tips for your primary support person

Can he do it all?

Doulas vs. family or friends

Preparing for the physical challenges he faces

Positions practice for active labor & birth

Using your environment

Belly Dancing for labor

More relaxation; letting your "coach" know what works best for you

Birth Rehearsal

Focusing On The Baby

Welcoming this vulnerable new life

Exploring our beliefs

Recognizing your baby’s perfection & abilities

Assuming immediate parental responsibility

Choices to be made

Bonding, breastfeeding & bliss!

Final Birth Rehearsal

Becoming Parents Potluck

Parenting Consciously

Looking at our parenting messages

Being the "ideal" parent

Becoming a family/losing a couple

Nurturing yourselves through this stressful life changing transformation

Learn from experts: Parents of new babies return to share their experiences

Bon Voyage!

Read what a class is like.

Basic class info: the who, what, when and how.

Class testimonials.

Contact me for my current fees & schedule: 473-3746