A Spectrum of Pregnancy, Birth & Parenting Services to Meet Your Needs

After working with San Luis Obispo families for over 20 years I am more strongly committed than ever to helping families find what feels right to them for pregnancy, birth and parenting. I have a broad perspective and a depth of knowledge which is grounded in the work I have done with families making a wide variety of choices. As a doula I have been blessed to be part of over 100 births. Working beside doctors and midwives I have witnessed inspiring births both in and out of the hospital. As a birth educator I have impacted the births of several hundred babies and through my work with the Birth & Baby Resource Network, La Leche League, and the International Cesarean Awareness Network I have touched the lives of countless families in our community and beyond.

I offer a variety of support/education options to match your unique needs. Our journey together may start at any point along the spectrum. Please feel free to mix and match and make the exact support and education package that meets your needs. All classes are offered both as group or private experiences with flexible schedules.


Before You are Pregnant

Private consultations over tea: learn about options & resources in our community or review and process a past birth and discuss possible effects on future births. We can meet in the privacy of your home or at a coffee shop.                              

 

Early in Your Pregnancy

Classes: learn how to nurture your body, your baby and your relationships in my Healthy Beginnings/Healthy Choices classes.

                                                        

Preparing for Your Birth

Classes: My small group classes held, in the privacy of a home, foster a sense of belonging as we eat, laugh, learn and share together this amazing adventure. My Heart, Mind & Body series empowers and inspires you to create the birth you want.

For each class group I create a private on-line community for extended sharing of ideas, inspiration, connection and support which continues until your baby is sleeping blissfully in your arms.

Labor Land Practice: My Birth Connection Date Nights are serene spaces where all learning is experiential through relaxation, guided imagery and touch. The focus is encouraging oxytocin, the “love hormone”, to flow between you, your partner and your baby, and to teach you how to move through labor land together. These “practice” sessions are ideal for experienced birthers, homebirthers, or as an expansion of more intellectual birth classes.

Private Classes in Your Home: Every family has different needs; bed resting moms, changing schedules, or simply a desire for privacy. I try to be as flexible as possible to let you create your unique education package. Let my Class Outline be your guide. I am happy to create a series just for you!



Doula Service: I am happy to join your birth team no matter where you are planning to birth; home, birth center or hospital. We start building a trust relationship with prenatal visits in your home. Through listening I learn what you need and want to feel confident about your coming birth. I facilitate thinking and dialogue between partners to help clarify and prioritize what is important to them and help craft a birth plan which reflects these values while being well received by your care provider and staff.

I am available via phone, email or Facebook to answer questions and lend support throughout the pregnancy.

                    Once labor begins. . .

 I will stay continuously by your side
 where ever you are laboring until. . .

your baby has arrived. . .

and is blissfully breastfeeding for the first time!

I will visit your home a few days after your birth to ensure breastfeeding is going well, check on your postpartum recovery, and help you process your experience with tears, talking and laughter. I will answer questions, clarify and enlighten you on issues you may not have understood. I want you to have a thorough grasp of what happened, why, and how necessary it was, to empower you for future births.

After Your Birth

Private consultations over tea: When women suffer after a difficult birth experience it is very helpful to share your story to a listening heart who is knowledgeable enough to review your birth, answer your questions, and help you move forward in your process. I can connect you to resources for your recovery and discuss things you will need to think about for future births.

Private Postpartum Visits: I believe new mamas need to rest and adjust to motherhood in the comfort of their home. I am happy to travel to you. The first days and weeks of parenthood many new families need some additional guidance. A little hands-on help from an experienced mother/doula can give a new mama just the boost of confidence she needs.

Welcome to the parenting community!

Classes: My Fourth Trimester Parenting Support group meets every Tuesday from 10:30-12. I provide this free to the community because I believe deeply that women need support during this important transition in their lives to grow fully into confident motherhood.




Support Group: I lead a La Leche League Mothers’ Meeting once a month in the South County which is free and open to all mothers for breastfeeding advice and support.

 

Loving Guidance Workshops: These periodic workshops cover my Five Steps to Creating a Healthy, Happy, Whole Family empowering parents to move through the normal ups and downs of parenthood, take control of their own learning, and make their own decisions on how they wish to parent.

Support Group: I created “Whole”istic Mamas and Papas to provide community for families choosing to parent from an alternative point of view; attachment parenting, co-sleeping, extended nursing, baby wearing, individual vaccination choices, homeschooling, etc. It is a safe space; both in our face-to-face play day meet ups and private on-line group for asking questions, gathering information, sharing and learning from each other.













Parenting is much more fun when we share and play with others!

Let's connect! I am happy to answer questions and get you started on just the right path for you.            Call: 805.459.8145
jenniferstoverdoula@gmail.com

Listening

All the time we are hearing that good communication is the key to relationships. For many of us this translates to if I can just find a way to tell you what I need you to hear you will grant me what I want. Or perhaps you think of it as speaking your truth and assume that the truth will set you free? What if the key to relationships wasn't in the speaking but in the listening?

Julie Nevison, founder of Aware Parents Aware Kids, recently gifted me with a slim little gem of a book called Listening Partnerships for Parents, by Patty Wipfler targeted at listening skills. I have always thought of myself as a good listener and over the years have actively worked on improving my skills. Recently I am finding that there is WAY more for me to learn and put into practice with those I love, clients I work with, and friendships that lighten my life.

Eons ago my husband and I took a class together taught by Steve and Cathy Brody, a psychologist and therapist husband and wife team. We learned the skill of mirroring what someone said. This was supposed to help them feel heard. Unfortunately we only learned the basic rote skill. In practice we simply fed back the other person's words before rushing forward with our own ideas, complaints, or needs. My husband rightly HATED it. I had to wait for more than twenty years to see the art of mirroring done so gracefully by Christi Silva as she facilitated La Leche League meetings. Not only did she mirror but she organized and sorted the random thoughts, feelings and ideas presented without ever interjecting her own ideas or making the speaker feel judged. She handed this back to the speaker as a gift. I listened. I heard you. Thank you for sharing.

Struggling as a parent and feeling I wished to strengthen my relationship with my son I read, "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and  Listen So Your Kids Will Talk" by Faber and Mazlish. Oh ho! So if I wanted my son to talk I needed to STOP talking! Now there's a concept. I still have a hard time with this at times. Sitting and waiting rather than engaging with questions isn't easy for me. Also this was the first time I heard the idea that as the listener, especially as a parent, it isn't your role to give them solutions or fix things for the speaker. If you just wait attentively, supportively, your child will begin to think of their own solutions. Then you can help them "try their solutions on" to see if they feel right to them or have the chance of actually working.

A few years ago taking Tory Blue's NVC class (non-violent communication) again shifted my whole perception of listening. She opened my eyes to all the critical dialogue going on in my head about myself and the person I was listening to; all the ways I thought I would, could, or should "fix" their problem. I also became aware of the concept of unmet needs creating dis-ease commonly felt by us as anger, frustration, sadness, or tension while met needs create happiness, satisfaction and joy. Communication is simply a way of asking to get unmet needs met. Sometimes others are willing and can meet those needs. Sometimes they can't or do not wish to meet the need. Often because meeting your need is in direct conflict with one of THEIR needs. This isn't wrong or bad. It just is. We may have to meet our own need or seek that need being met by a different person or in a different way. And guess what? That's okay!

La Leche League training puts a lot of emphasis on listening skills. We are taught to help a mother observe, look for clues, and sort through her own situation. We give her pertinent information she may not have which could help her clarify what she desires to do. We express confidence in her and her own abilities to know what to do and to do what needs to be done.  We tell her whatever she decides we know it will be best for her and her family. Or perhaps we are expressing confidence in her baby's abilities to learn or conquer a struggle, tap into their innate wisdom and abilities, or the hard wiring of their genetic coding. In essence we are modeling the behavior of listening to her baby rather than any other voices, especially if listening to those voices shakes her confidence in her mothering abilities.

My CranioSacral and Ortho-Bionomy studies and Feldenkrais explorations deepened my understanding of the many ways to "listen" to myself or someone else through physical touch. Again I saw that no real communication would happen if I was anything but completely accepting of what was, rather than what should be. Only after awareness and acceptance could I begin to explore other possibilities. Doors keep opening and new levels of understanding are revealed. Awareness and intention allow us to blend with another physical being through our hands. Permission has to be asked and granted on many levels before another human being will feel safe enough to reveal themselves to you. This is a sacred trust.

As an Intuitive Doula I listen with my head, heart, and hands. I listen to her hopes, dreams and plans. I listen to her birth struggles. I listen to her joy or sadness when the birth is over. So much of what I bring to a birth is simply my attentive presence. Feeling really listened to and honored through the intensity of birth is what is missing in so many women's birth stories. I listen with my ears, my brain, my hands, my intuition, my intention. Listening brings self-awareness.

Reading Patty Wipfler's little book I realized I STILL have so much to learn about active, caring listening and acceptance. Some of it was simply a good review; helping me brush up on things I already knew. There were also good reminders of things I had learned but still forget to use effectively in every day life. Most importantly it brought me a new layer of understanding about pain, hurts, and healing. Patty says unhealed childhood hurts leave scars that create rigid, irrational behavior. This makes sense to me. In order to heal those hurts we need to be LISTENED to. Feeling truly heard accepted and loved can help us release tears. Tears allow us to rid our bodies of trapped emotions. Emotional tears contain the harmful chemicals that have been trapped in our cells; frozen in rigidity. From my body work studies I know these unhealed hurts also leave physical scars in the form of physical rigidity or dis-ease trapped throughout our bodies; aching to be listened to, released, and healed. When our body feels listened to it finally is able to let go.

I am lucky to have Julie drop into my life at this time. "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." Thank you Julie.

A Feminist Perspective on Breastfeeding

“Breastfeeding and Work; Let’s Make It Work.” What comes to your mind when you hear the 2015 World Breastfeeding Week’s slogan? Most Americans think of women working outside the home who juggle nourishing their babies at their breasts with the demands of a boss. This calls to mind breast pumps, bags of frozen breastmilk, and bottles left for daycare providers; mothers striving to provide the very best both financially and nutritionally for their families. If you are a politically progressive American, “breastfeeding and work” may evoke images of paid maternity leave, perhaps even as long as some European countries, which provide 1 to 3 years! If you are a woman working in an office job perhaps this slogan sets you dreaming about pretty, private, lactation rooms with cozy chairs, baby photos, relaxing music, a clean sink to wash your pump parts, a refrigerator for storing pumped milk, clean counter space and electrical outlets to plug in your double, hospital-grade, hands-free, electric pump. Or you may be one of the many women yearning for a long-enough break from running a cash register, working the sales floor, making motel beds, tending the sick, picking vegetables, or flipping burgers to drain your full breasts often enough during the day to keep your body producing enough of a milk supply to match your hungry baby’s growing needs.

These are all valid dreams and desires, but as a community lactavist and modern feminist I have a broader vision; a vision better for all of humanity.

Who decided what IS work and what ISN’T work? Men did. Our modern chauvinistic culture decided work was what men did away from home. Therefore, women weren’t working when they stayed home and raised children. Anyone who has raised children knows this is ludicrous. Raising babies into well-functioning, happy, healthy adult human beings is incredibly demanding work. The hours are ridiculously long. Your job description changes every few months. Your day is filled with multitasking, negotiating, and strategic planning. Safeguarding the next generation, assuring the continuation of the species, is arguably the MOST important human endeavor. Regardless, men deemed raising children as less important than making money; therefore, what women did was NOT work.

Sadly when the women of the women’s liberation movement fought for the right to work outside the home they adopted the male paradigm for themselves. Imagine all those career-minded women in their pant suits. Secretaries might wear skirts but any woman who hoped to climb the corporate ladder donned the female equivalent of the coat and tie. Even Hillary Clinton perpetuated this stereotype through much of her last campaign. The 1960’s feminist reasoning went like this. We want to compete in the professional world. The professional world was designed by men for men, therefore we will pretend we are men. We will pretend we don’t grow babies, we don’t birth babies, and we don’t make milk to continue to grow babies. Many of the feminists of the time, such as Gloria Steinem, DIDN’T have babies. Others, like Betty Friedan had children who were older by the time they spearheaded a cultural revolution.

The “Mommy Wars” are a direct outgrowth of this acceptance of the male construct of what is and isn’t work. The media plays into big corporations’ hands when they keep the conversation about women judging each other; “working” mothers versus stay-at-home mothers. Giant formula makers are happy the conversation stays away from the damage we are doing to the long-term physical and mental health of human beings by feeding milk proteins designed for baby cows instead of baby humans.

Purely from a science perspective the verdict is in. Breakthroughs in epigenetics, the human microbiome, gut health, and evolutionary biology all point to the same conclusion; formula feeding is a major health risk in our society, but no one is talking about it except people directly involved with lactation education. We desperately need to make a cultural shift if we want to truly deal with the obesity epidemic. Or tackle lowering our rates of heart disease, autoimmune disease, breast and cervical cancer in our country and much, much more. Studies link all of these health issues to artificial human-milk feeding.

That shift starts by valuing women’s abilities to nurture and sustain life. Acknowledge that women have brains, and uteri, and breasts that lactate. We are the crucial link between the generations. This most important ability needs to be supported by every level of society if we want the human race to thrive. We need to support not only the women who are pumping behind closed office doors, but also the women who need to pump during a break from picking strawberries, and the women who are working at home to raise kids, and the women who are nursing their children while they take calls for their in-home business, and the women who are taking their babies to work. We need to tell all mothers through our laws, through our media representation, through changes in our language, through our politics, and through our economics that all women who are providing breastmilk for their children are doing important work for all our futures. I want us to move beyond the Mommy Wars, to move beyond normalizing breastfeeding, into a culture that values and supports the significant contribution every lactating woman is making for our country, our world and our species.   

Jennifer Stover is the education chair of the Central Coast Breastfeeding Coalition, based in San Luis Obispo, CA. She has been a La Leche League leader for 5 years and a certified birth and postpartum doula for over 20 years, and founder of the Birth & Baby Resource Network.

Why Chiropractic Care for the Whole Family?

Many years ago I met Leslie Kasanoff, mother and chiropractor, when she was planning the homebirth of her second child. Since that time I have grown to understand she is a fierce wellness advocate on many different fronts. As a chiropractor Dr. Leslie practices low force or non-force techniques which work gently with your nervous system to help restore structure & function. Through analyzing the nervous system, she can detect where your body is willing to allow change & work with these areas to allow the unwinding of other problem areas. Allowing her to use 'brains instead of brawn'. No pops or cracks needed! Good thing cause she isn't any bigger than I am. Here is what she writes about why chiro care is a cornerstone of wellness.

"So what is chiropractic & how might it help you & your family? The basic tenants of chiropractic have little to do with back pain. Chiropractic theory states (and modern medicine has proven) that misalignments in the spine (subluxation) can put stress on delicate spinal nerves & cause them to misfire. Indeed science has shown us that as little as 10mm of mercury pressure- about the pressure caused by weight of a dime- can cause misfiring of nerve impulses in the spine. If you think realistically about this, you realize you could likely have several areas like this in your own spine right now and be totally unaware of it. Further, all the nerves in your entire body ultimately connect to nerves that enter & exit the spinal cord so when you think about it, every function in your body, from your heart beat to your hormone function to your immune system & more depends on the messages of nerves running into & out of your spine. AND you have NO way of knowing if all these messages are getting through unimpeded or not. The chiropractor’s job is to make sure they Are. 

Well, this all sounds like it makes good sense, you may be thinking; but what is the practical aspect of this? What can I expect chiropractic care to have an effect on? While we can’t say with 100% certainty that chiropractic will have an effect on any particular problem, I can say that in my 25 years experience, the care I’ve provided has had a positive effect on problems as varied as ADHD, colic, asthma, allergies, back pain, headaches, fibromyalgia and more. I can also say that pregnant woman under chiropractic care have easier deliveries & recoveries and that difficulty nursing can often be traced to a baby being less able to latch on to one breast due to spinal subluxation in the neck. The bottom line is that every function in your body will happen better when it is unimpeded."

Most of us don't know the history of chiropractic care and why Americans are so conflicted about utilizing this basic form of health care. This unease keeps them from attaining real health. Dr. Leslie gives us a history lesson and gets to the roots of this distrust.

"As a chiropractor who has practiced for almost 25 years, I continue to be surprised (and a little disappointed) that more people don’t recognize the positive role that Chiropractic care can play in their children’s and in their own lives. Today, I hope to help you understand the value a little better.

Thanks to the medical establishment, most people think of chiropractic in terms of a quick fix for lower back or neck pain. While chiropractic may help with these issues, this represents a very limited view of an art & science that has really been around for thousands of years.

Hippocrates is quoted as having said “in case of disease look first to the spine.” Throughout history there have been practitioners who were the ancient equivalent of the modern-day chiropractor.  In fact, the results chiropractors got during the great flu pandemic of 1917 were one of the major factors that lead to the California Chiropractic Initiative of 1922, recognizing that we are separate & distinct from medicine. But like many other ancient forms of healing, chiropractic fell out of favor with the advent of drugs, surgery and the symptomatic approaches established by modern medicine. While most people are at least aware that chiropractic care exists, herbal medicine, homeopathy & many other forms of care have been so vilified by modern medicine that many people equate them with witchcraft, quackery and worse. The real truth is that most of that is propaganda and organized medicine did, among other things, promote leeches and blood letting well past the 1900’s. It was only their steadfast organization, pressure, propaganda & boycotting of anything non-medical that lead to the decreased popularity of these forms of care. Ultimately, chiropractic is the only non-allopathic healing science that survived this assault (until the recent resurgence of others). In fact, in 1985, the AMA and several other organizations were found guilty of collusion and anti-trust for trying to systematically destroy chiropractic as a profession in the United States.

I bring this up because to this day, people have negative views of chiropractic but have no idea where those views came from. I like to say its like the wallpaper of the way we grew up; so intimately connected with the American view on health, we don’t even see it." 

Recently Leslie joined the staff of Community Health Centers in SLO. She is happy to be able to provide care to many patients who have been unable to obtain it in the past because they have had no insurance coverage. If you have CenCal, Medi-Cal or Medicare, you are allowed chiropractic care and do not need a medical referral. Unfortunately, most chiropractors cannot afford to see these patients (or see them & charge them a discounted cash fee) due to the low reimbursement rate. At CHC, they are a majority of the patients they see. 

So if any of this makes sense to you, Dr. Kasanoff would be pleased and honored to see you and your family. Simply call the Bishop St office at 805-269-0793 or the Casa St office at 805-269-1500 & ask for a chiropractic appointment with Dr. Kasanoff. 

Thanks Dr. Leslie for 25 years of helping families find better health!

California Measles Outbreak; What's a Parent to Do?

Yesterday I caught the tail end of Dave Congalton on the radio talking with a local pediatrician who has written a new e-book about baby's first year. She was adamant about vaccinations and was sure that if parents were simply told the facts by their doctor they would automatically want to vaccinate. During the short time I was listening, 2 other docs called in to FULLY support vaccinations.                                 
She also said we were having a measles epidemic in California. At that point I called in. I asked her how many cases there actually were. She backed off and said she shouldn't have called it an epidemic but an outbreak. I told her I thought the cases were in vaccinated people. She said no they were unvaccinated. (Keep reading to see she and I were both right and wrong on that one.) She said this kind of bad information was the problem with the internet spreading false info. She accused parents of getting poor information off the internet and then being too frightened to do the right thing for their kids. So this morning I went to the internet to see what I could find out about measles in CA. Here is some info you should know.

Facts on California's measles outbreak
From the CDC web site:
"Measles causes fever, runny nose, cough and a rash all over the body. About one out of 10 children with measles also gets an ear infection, and up to one out of 20 gets pneumonia. For every 1,000 children who get measles, one or two will die."                

Also from our government:                                                
"HEALTH ADVISORY – February 19, 2014

14 Measles Cases in the State of California in 2014

Fourteen cases of measles with onset in 2014 have been reported to California Department of Public Health. (In all of 2013, 189 people have been reported to have the disease. This represents the second largest number of cases in the U.S. since measles was eliminated in 2000.)
Among the 2014 California cases, four case-patients had traveled outside of North and South America, with three traveling to the Philippines. Nationally, an increase has been noted in the proportion of measles cases with travel to the Philippines. Measles cases from recent years have reported travel to Germany, France, England, India, and China, among other destinations.

Of the 2014 California case-patients without international travel, three had contact with known measles cases, two had contact with international travelers and five are under investigation to identify potential sources.

Of the 12 cases with known measles vaccination status, 8 were unvaccinated (7 were intentionally unvaccinated and 1 was too young to be vaccinated). That means 4 were vaccinated and 8 were not. So a third of the cases were in vaccinated people and 2/3 in unvaccinated. Why are vaccinated people getting sick? Had they only had the initial vaccine and not the booster or did they fave both shots and the life-long immunity they said we would have isn't turning out to be true? 

Please note they are NOT talking about deaths or even tell us how severe the cases were; simply that they had measles.

The last large outbreak of measles in the U.S. occurred during 1989-1991, with 17,000 cases of measles and 70 deaths in California.

Let's compare this to influenza. For the 2013-2014 flu season the California Department of Public Health says there were 332 deaths in California. 

Efforts to increase immunization rates in the 1990s were successful and endemic transmission of measles in the U.S. was eliminated in 2000.

Here is what eliminated actually means. In 2000 there were 86 cases in the US and 19 in California. 

 In 2013-2014, a large measles outbreak in the Philippines has resulted in over 1700 cases and 21 deaths. This outbreak has led to measles importations to Australia, Canada, the UK, and in many U.S. states. Additionally, measles is currently circulating in most regions of the world outside of North and South America."

In 2013 there were 189 cases of measles in the US and 15 cases in California. There were NO deaths. Now I want you to think about the numbers of people you know in California who had the flu this year. We probably each know at least 15 people. Of the California measles cases, 11% needed to be hospitalized, so 17 people were seriously ill. Pneumonia was the reason for hospitalization for 4 of the cases. It is important for pregnant mothers to note that 2 of these hospitalizations were for pregnant women and 1 miscarried. Let's look closer. Ninety-nine percent were import associated. In other words there was contact with someone who brought the virus into the US from abroad or was in contact with someone who was in contact with someone who had been abroad. Another interesting item is that 8% of the cases were in vaccinated people. 

How Does This Compare to the Flu?

Let's see what Web MD says about the flu:

Here's a rundown of some important flu statistics, based on the best available data.

Percentage of the U.S. population that will get the flu, on average, each year: between 5% and 20%.
That is with the current flu vaccination rate. So what percentage of the US population is 159 measles cases? The US Census Record says there are 316.99 million people in the US. So last year's outbreak was .00005% of people in the US.

Number of Americans hospitalized each year because of flu complications: 200,000, on average.
Remember there were 17 people hospitalized for measles complications last year. The last big outbreak of measles occurred from 1989-1991. Each year there were approximately 18,000 cases in the US with approximately 3,600 hospitalizations. 

The number of people who die each year from flu-related causes in the U.S.: ranges from 3,000 to 49,000.
During the last big outbreak of measles in the US approximately 41 people died each year.

In the U.S., influenza and pneumonia were the eighth leading cause of death in males in 2009.

Number of flu vaccine doses available in the U.S. for the 2013-2014 flu season: Between 135 and 139 million.
That means that if all the doses get used they will have vaccinated 44% of the population for flu. The federal government wants a 90% vaccine rate for measles and they say are meeting or exceeding that goal! Less than 1% of young children are not vaccinated  and most of the unvaccinated kids are for economic reasons. So what percent of all the kids in the US are not vaccinated due to parental choice? I couldn't find that number. Obviously it is less than 1%. 

So where does all this fear come from? Most of it stems from one situation in New York where many people in one extended family became ill with measles. This family had chosen not to vaccinate due to philosophical reasons. They had family members who traveled to Europe and brought home an unwelcome souvenir. In total there were 65 cases of measles in New York. Here is the final word of why the the CDC is concerned:  "imported measles cases can result in large outbreaks, particularly if introduced into areas with pockets of unvaccinated persons."

From the National Vaccine Information Center:
(this is the organization which the medical establishment is talking about when they say crazy 
anti-vaccine people)  
"In 1960, three years before the first measles vaccine was licensed in the U.S., there were 380 deaths from measles recorded."            

Are vaccines safe or not?
Now let's explore the possible side effects from getting the MMR vaccine. Remember very little in life is 100% safe so with life there is risk. What are those risks?

From the CDC: 
"Moderate Problems
Seizure (jerking or staring) caused by fever (about 1 out of 3,000 doses)
Temporary pain and stiffness in the joints, mostly in teenage or adult women (up to 1 out of 4)
Temporary low platelet count, which can cause a bleeding disorder (about 1 out of 30,000 doses)

Severe Problems (Very Rare)
Serious allergic reaction (less than 1 out of a million doses)
Several other severe problems have been reported after a child gets MMR vaccine, including:
Deafness, long-term seizures, coma, or lowered consciousness, and permanent brain damage
These are so rare that it is hard to tell whether they are caused by the vaccine.
(Please note they give us NO numbers)

From the National Vaccine Information Center: 

"Common side effects from the MMR vaccine include low-grade fever, skin rash, itching, hives, swelling, reddening of skin, and weakness. Reported serious adverse reactions following MMR vaccination include seizures, brain inflammation and encephalopathy; thrombocytopenia; joint, muscle and nerve pain; gastrointestinal disorders; measles like rash; conjunctivitis and other serious health problems.

As of March 1, 2012, there have been 898 claims filed in the federal Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP) for injuries and deaths following MMR vaccination, including 56 deaths and 842 serious injuries. (Again we have no numbers of doses of vaccines to help us understand what percentage of doses; or true level of risk. I'm not even sure if these numbers include multiple years.)

Using the MedAlerts search engine, as of July 9, 2012 there have been 6,058 serious adverse events reported to the Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System (VAERS) in connection with measles vaccine since 1990, with over half of those occurring in children 3 and under.

Evidence has been published in the medical literature that vaccinated persons can get measles because either they do not respond to the vaccine or the vaccine’s efficacy wanes over time and vaccinated mothers do not transfer long lasting maternal antibodies to their infants to protect them in the first few months of life."

There are other theories about vaccines long term risks beyond immediate reactions. None of these, as far as I know, have been proven. Conversely I don't know that there are any long-term studies on vaccine safety. Questions out there which I feel bear looking into are the potential vaccine/autoimmune disease link. Especially after seeing that the CDC says one of the moderate immediate reactions can be pain and stiffness in the joints in teens and women. Autoimmune diseases are definitely on the rise. Is this caused by vaccines? The anti-vaccine group would like you to think so. As far as I know we have no scientific studies to definitively make that connection yet. I want long term studies done. I want studies done on bundled vaccines, not individual vaccines. I don't believe the scientific community has done enough research into the possible synergistic effects of bundling vaccines. I think the fact that we now have potential humans to do matched studies on right here in America is fantastic. I don't want studies with unvaccinated people from third world countries compared to people in the developed world. I want us to follow long-term some of the now unvaccinated US kids and a matched group of vaccinated US kids. Let's really find out some concrete answers. Until then I'm not sure anyone knows. 
                                                                                               
What's a parent to do?
Parents need to make wise choices for their children. Are you planning to travel outside the US? Will you be having world travelers come into your home or be in contact with them in some other way, such as, airplanes, buses, trains, or hotel rooms? Perhaps you want to vaccinate. Perhaps 2 measles deaths in a 1000 cases is too high a risk for you to comfortably take as a parent. As doctors love to say (the doctor on the radio yesterday said it too) when it is your child 1 death is too many. Of course they NEVER factor in that, 1 death from a vaccine reaction is also 1 death too many for any parent. What is important to me is that you have solid information to make your own best choices. 

Then I want you to find a doctor who will listen to you as a parent, help educate you and then will allow you to make your choices without shaming you in any way; or worse yet fire you as a client. I want to take a moment to acknowledge one such local pediatrician, Dr. Renee Bravo. Here is what one of my "Whole"istic Mamas said about a recent visit. 

"Just wanted to share my positive experience yesterday. I've known Dr Bravo for probably 25 years & have been bringing my children to him since my 1st was born almost 11 years ago. I respect him & think he's a great person. Yesterday I brought baby #4 in for her 2 mos checkup. I was really nervous to tell him I didn't want vaccines for my baby since I'd unknowingly vaccinated my other 3 children & thought he might possibly hassle me like his associate did. When he asked about shots for this visit I declined & he said "no problem, whatever you want to do I'll support!" He said we could do delayed vaccines (he said he really likes Dr. Sears schedule), even more delayed, or none at all, just let him know. Then he said "you know you really only need most of these if you're traveling to a 3rd world country anyway." No hassle, no debate, just pure support. Yet another reason why I respect him!"

I know this was a lot to read but it is important that all of us base these kinds of parenting decisions on a real understanding of the facts. 

Next, since it is "going around", I wanted to give you info on how to tell if your child has measles and what your doctor can do. If you think you or your child has measles, or you have been exposed to measles, the sooner you go to your doctor the better if  you want to utilize their help. 

IMPORTANT: Do NOT go to your doctor without FIRST calling. Let them know you think your child has been exposed to or come down with measles. Ask IF they wish you to come in and HOW they plan to minimize risk to their other clients. Babies do not get vaccinated for measles until they are 12 months old. Therefore the kids most vulnerable to having difficulty fighting off the infection are not vaccinated.   

What do measles look like?
From the Mayo Clinic web site:

Description: a red, blotchy rash that usually appears first on the face and behind the ears, then spreads downward to the chest and back and finally to the feet.

Measles signs and symptoms appear seven to 14 days after exposure to the virus. Signs and symptoms of measles typically include:
Fever
Dry cough
Runny nose
Sore throat
Inflamed eyes (conjunctivitis)
Sensitivity to light
Tiny white spots with bluish-white centers found inside the mouth on the inner lining of the cheek, called Koplik's spots
A skin rash made up of large, flat blotches that often flow into one another
The infection occurs in sequential stages over a period of two to three weeks.

Infection and incubation. For the first seven to 14 days after you're infected, the measles virus incubates. You have no signs or symptoms of measles during this time.

Nonspecific signs and symptoms. Measles typically begins with a mild to moderate fever, often accompanied by a persistent cough, runny nose, inflamed eyes (conjunctivitis) and sore throat. This relatively mild illness may last two or three days.

Acute illness and rash. The rash consists of small red spots, some of which are slightly raised. Spots and bumps in tight clusters give the skin a splotchy red appearance. The face breaks out first, particularly behind the ears and along the hairline. Over the next few days, the rash spreads down the arms and trunk, then over the thighs, lower legs and feet. At the same time, fever rises sharply, often as high as 104 or 105 F (40 or 40.6 C). The measles rash gradually recedes, fading first from the face and last from the thighs and feet.

Communicable period. A person with measles can spread the virus to others for about eight days, starting four days before the rash appears and ending when the rash has been present for four days.
When to see a doctor


What if I think my child has measles?

More from Mayo
Call your doctor if you think you or your child may have been exposed to measles, or if you or your child has a rash resembling measles.

No treatment can get rid of an established measles infection. However, some measures can be taken to protect vulnerable individuals who have been exposed to the virus.

Post-exposure vaccination. Nonimmunized people, including infants, may be given the measles vaccination within 72 hours of exposure to the measles virus, to provide protection against the disease. If measles still develops, the illness usually has milder symptoms and lasts for a shorter time.
Immune serum globulin. Pregnant women, infants and people with weakened immune systems who are exposed to the virus may receive an injection of proteins (antibodies) called immune serum globulin. When given within six days of exposure to the virus, these antibodies can prevent measles or make symptoms less severe.

Medications

Fever reducers. You or your child may also take over-the-counter medications such as acetaminophen (Tylenol, others), ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, others) or naproxen (Aleve) to help relieve the fever that accompanies measles. Don't give aspirin to children because of the risk of Reye's syndrome — a rare but potentially fatal disease.

Antibiotics. If a bacterial infection, such as pneumonia or an ear infection, develops while you or your child has measles, your doctor may prescribe an antibiotic.

Vitamin A. People with low levels of vitamin A are more likely to have a more severe case of measles. Giving vitamin A may lessen the severity of the measles. It's generally given as a large dose of 200,000 international units (IU) for two days.

How do you tell if it is measles or chicken pox? 
Also from the Mayo Clinic site:

Chickenpox infection usually lasts about five to 10 days. The rash is the telltale indication of chickenpox. Other signs and symptoms, which may appear one to two days before the rash, include:

Fever
Loss of appetite
Headache
Tiredness and a general feeling of being unwell (malaise)Once the chickenpox rash appears, it goes through three phases:

Raised pink or red bumps (papules), which break out over several days
Fluid-filled blisters (vesicles), forming from the raised bumps over about one day before breaking and leaking
Crusts and scabs, which cover the broken blisters and take several more days to heal
New bumps continue to appear for several days. As a result, you may have all three stages of the rash — bumps, blisters and scabbed lesions — at the same time on the second day of the rash. Once infected, you can spread the virus for up to 48 hours before the rash appears, and you remain contagious until all spots crust over.


The disease is generally mild in healthy children. In severe cases, the rash can spread to cover the entire body, and lesions may form in the throat, eyes and mucous membranes of the urethra, anus and vagina. New spots continue to appear for several days.

What if my child has Chicken Pox?

Most children do not need to see a doctor other than to tell you they have chicken pox. When do you need to see a doctor?

From the CDC:
For people with chickenpox at risk of serious complications, call a health care provider if the person:
is older than 12 years of age
has a weakened immune system
is pregnant
develops any of the following:
fever that lasts longer than 4 days
fever that rises above 102°F (38.9°C)
any areas of the rash or any part of the body becomes very red, warm, or tender, or begins leaking pus (thick, discolored fluid), since these symptoms may indicate a bacterial infection
extreme illness
difficult waking up or confused demeanor
difficulty walking
stiff neck
frequent vomiting
difficulty breathing
severe cough

Good luck with your decision and good parenting!

How to Not Gain My Trust

Dear Doctor,

You will not gain my trust by pigeon-holing me at an unrelated professional public event and in a loud confrontational tone telling me I don’t know what I am talking about. Do you realize how disrespectful it is to assume that if people just knew what you know they would obviously agree with you?

You will not gain my trust by going on and on with rarely a break long enough for me to get in a word. This was not a respectful rational dialogue between two equally intelligent individuals. Instead it was an overly emotional barrage of highly charged personal experiences bound up with concern for your own children.

You will not gain my trust by not being considerate of time and place. Did you give any thought to the fact that you were in the middle of an organization that has worked very hard to establish trusting relationships between often competing parties by keeping our focus on the ways in which we agree, respectfully sharing information, and focusing on a common goal? Did you take a moment to consider that I was about to get up in front of a room full of people and speak? Luckily I am confident enough to be gracious to you, while not backing down in my defense of parents who you feel make the wrong choice about vaccine, and immediately after still get up and give a caring, warm introduction for a woman I greatly admire. Did you know that about me? No because you don’t know me at all.

You will not gain my trust by not being conscious of who else is around you and how they might be affected by our exchange. Did you know that it was mortifying to me that the evening’s presenter, a professional who inspires me, was listening to you? Did you never give it a moment’s thought that sitting all around you might be parents who have chosen not to vaccinate or are following less traditional vaccination schedules? How do you think this made them feel? Do you think you gained their trust?

As I said to you that night you are obviously sincere in your concern about the potential for children to become ill and die because of parents choosing not to vaccinate. I can tell you care deeply. I too care deeply. It is very important to me that I give out as accurate information as I can to parents and prospective parents. What they do with that information is up to them. I believe in their abilities to make good choices for their children. In the past when it has been brought to my attention that I may have printed inaccurate statistics I have gone back and taken a second look at my original information and, with guidance by far better statisticians than I, I have made corrections as needed. Based on the discrepancies between your numbers and mine I am reviewing my original measles outbreak post, my sources and the original numbers, and will be posting an up-date. I will also be working on a post as to how the medical establishment as a whole lost our trust. Unfortunately you, dear doctor, did nothing to re-gain mine.

  

A Parenting Poem

If I had my child to raise over again, I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less. I'd do less correcting, and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I would care to know less, and know to care more. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging, and less tugging. I would be firm less often, and affirm much more. I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I'd teach less about the love of power, And more about the power of love. It matters not whether my child is big or small, From this day forth, I'll cherish it all.

    From 100 Ways to Build Self-Esteem & Teach Values by Diana Loomans (c) 2004 New World Library

Loving Guidance

This is an essay I wrote in answer to a question as part of my La Leche League leadership application process. It is an example of how I practice what I preach in my 5 Steps to Creating a Healthy Family. It took me 17 years full of lots of mistakes to come to this. I hope you can learn from my experience. 

Question: From infancy on, children need loving guidance, which reflects acceptance of their capabilities and sensitivity to their feelings.  Describe how you practiced loving guidance. 

I love my son but I have come to understand he is not a self starter. I AM a self starter and this has created conflict between us at times. As we parent, our children's true natures are slowly revealed to us. My son is a dreamer, a reader, a talker. He is intelligent, opinionated, sensitive, polite, and helpful. He is not a risk taker and is slow to transition, whether that is from sleep to wakefulness or childhood to adulthood. One of the best books I read that helped me understand my wonderful son was, "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Joe isn't spirited. He is in her spunky category. He naturally has a very regimented body schedule but his emotional needs are like those of a spirited child. Once I started using many of her suggestions for structure, our lives together got better. My other favorite book was "Your Child's Self-Esteem" by Corky Briggs. This book gave me approval for how I was already interacting with my son. Her advice to never speak to your child any less respectfully than you would interact with a co-worker became the underpinnings to our relationship. When I have strayed from this it has always lead to conflict and Joe quickly lets me know I'm being inappropriate.

Taking all this into account I approached Joe's senior year with some trepidation. I knew there was lots to think about, lots to get done, and big decisions coming. That meant Joe was also going to know all of that and would be very slow to start. Refer to above; not a risk taker, slow to transition.

Step one: I scout ahead. I read the book, "Colleges that Change Lives", by Loren Pope, loaned to me from another mother whose son was 2 years older. I loved this book all about colleges who can really make an impact and who engage students in a different way. I fell in love with a few of the schools and longed to be the one going away. I didn't mark any of these as the ones I liked. I wanted him to choose what he liked. 

Step two: I encouraged Joe to read the book. I waited. I talked to him about my excitement about the book and college. I waited. I eventually gave it as a family chore requirement. He reluctantly began reading but finished it very enthusiastic about going away to school.

Step three: I listened to Joe tell me why he had picked out his top school choices. I asked my husband Mike to read through the book and look at Joe's choices. He too became excited and did further research with Joe on-line.

You need to understand that we had been exposing Joe to the idea of college and different colleges since a very young age. We had been to Cal Poly's Open House numerous times, walked Cal Berkeley's campus many a time, toured UC Santa Barbara and Santa Cruz already and, learned about a special program at Santa Barbara for art students. But I had a hard time visualizing my son being happy and successful at any of these schools. There was something about their bigness, their impersonal quality, their regimented structure that I thought would not match well with Joe. So I was thrilled there were other schools to choose from.

Step four: Joe applied to 4 schools out of the book and 3 UCs. He was not interested in Cal Poly because he knew we would want him to live at home. This was not an easy process. I will forever be grateful to his AP English teacher for requiring this as part of their grade and supporting them in writing the college essays.

Step five: I found out that Whitman College was sending a rep to Santa Barbara to do interviews with possible students. Mike took the day off and the 3 of us went down. We made a nice family day of it.

Step six: Joe was accepted into several schools including 2 UCs, 3 across the country and Whitman in Washington. My heart ached at the thought of him going to school in Tennessee or Arkansas but I didn't tell him that. I hope he never knew. He was up for a special scholarship at the school in Arkansas so Mike and Joe flew back there to see it and go through a competition.

Step seven: Joe had a serious high school relationship. They were both seniors and trying to decide what to do. She wanted to go to UC Santa Barbara. Joe was leaning toward UC Santa Cruz. We went with her family to tour Santa Cruz again. It was very difficult for them. Joe asked me what he should do. I told him it was up to him but his dad and I had done some school apart and although it wasn't fun our relationship had survived. I made sure he knew it was up to him; his dad and I would be happy no matter where he chose to go to school.

Step eight: We visited Whitman together over spring break. I scouted ahead and made appointments for him to have a tour of the art department and talk to an art professor. As soon as we arrived I knew this school was a fit for Joe. The more we saw, the more people we spoke to, the more sure I became. I kept these thoughts to myself as much as possible. I was trying hard not to influence him but I'm sure Joe could tell I was excited. But Joe became quieter and quieter all day. When we got back to the motel he said he needed to call Marisa. I gave him some privacy. I didn't know what to think. 

On the way back home I asked him what he thought of the school and it came out in a slowly increasing flood; all the things he liked about it and how excited he was to get to go there. He had discussed it with Marisa the night before. She had told him he should go where he wanted to go not where she wanted to go. He was so happy.

Step nine: Joe and Marisa needed lots of time that last summer together. Although eventually they did end up breaking up I am glad to say she is still his friend and ours. I will always be grateful she was wise enough to tell him it was okay for him to choose to go away to school.

Step ten: I scouted ahead and found out they had a special wilderness program for incoming freshman before school started. I knew right away this would be a great way for Joe to start. He had been hiking and backpacking with us before he could walk. I knew this small group would be way easier for him to create friendships. My husband wasn't keen on spending the extra money. I asked Joe if he wanted to do it. He said yes and I advocated with his dad. The trip was a huge success and the best way Joe could have begun his Whitman career; feeling confident in his friendships, confident in his abilities and confident in his surroundings. He has continued to thrive at Whitman and I no longer have to scout ahead.

I know my son. I listen, watch and think. I use my intuition combined with my adult wisdom. If he has an idea I encourage him to act on it. If he is stuck I present an idea to him. I create a structure for that idea to flourish. I support him physically, financially and emotionally as he works on his idea. Sometimes I have to push because he is a dreamer, content to dream rather than do. I am thrilled to cheer his successes and to lend support if he falls. We talk about what he learns from both. I hope he knows he can always turn to me because I am his biggest fan. Joe and I have a very strong connection and I am learning just how far that connection can stretch as he roams farther afield and moves into adult relationships. I am content that intuition, respect, investigation and learning, communication and allowing freedom for him to move as far away from me as he is comfortable while always welcoming him back to my side has been a successful way to parent.

Re-framing Birth

The typical first time mother forgets that birth is about so much more than just her labor and birth experience. It is about her baby's experience too. She gets so caught up in "planning" her birth, practicing her labor "tools" and focusing on all the people and things she thinks she needs to travel this incredible, transformational journey. She forgets about her most intimate traveling partner; the baby she carries inside her. Birth is not an isolated day of importance. It is part of a continuum which started from conception and will continue a lifetime. The mother/baby dance of love and learning begins at the beginning; in utero. Labor and birth is a unique opportunity to teach your baby about how to handle stress and fear through the power of love and connection which should flow seamlessly into those first golden hours and days immediately following birth.

Think about your baby during your birth. Send him or her waves of love and reassurance. This is your first act of motherhood. Listen to Dr. Nils Bergman on how to proceed once your baby is in your arms.

Nils Bergman, MD, MB, MPH, CHB, DCH on the Social and Emotional Intelligence of Infants

"Babies are brilliant, inexperienced people."

Diane West co-author of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and Making More Milk.

"Whole"istic Mamas Support for After Your Baby Arrives

You are invited to join my "Whole"istic Mama and Papas parenting support and social group! 

For the last twenty years I have been asked by moms who had attended my birth classes if  I would please start a mom support group after their babies came. Unfortunately I was too busy raising my son, being a wife, birth educator, doula, foreign exchange student teacher/coordinator and horse trainer and community birth advocate to say yes. In 2012 I finished my La Leache League leadership training and finally decided they were right. Moms who were choosing to parent from an attached perspective needed more support in our community. 

Because I have always viewed parenting as a dynamic constantly evolving experience I purposely chose to not call the group "attachment parenting". I wanted to encourage a broader spectrum of mamas to feel welcome. So I created the term "Whole"istic Parenting which I felt better reflected my views of parenting the whole child. At our meet ups and in our face book group I encourage mamas to make conscious choices for their child's physical, intellectual and emotional health. Research shows these are not distinct areas but are forever inseparably intertwined. 

The group offers mama-to-mama support and information sharing, as well as a social outlet with several park or play dates a month. The conversation is free flowing, covering whatever is on the minds of the attending mamas from sleep issues, balancing family needs, extended family, nutrition, traditional and alternative health providers, education, communication and more. As a veteran working mom, past home and public schooling parent, and La Leche League leader I gently offer guidance and resources. I ultimately believe mamas know the right path to choose for their unique family situation when given a small amount of nonjudgmental information and encouragement to listen to their heart. To receive invitations to our Blanket Babies & Toddler Time meet ups and join the on-line group feel free to friend me on face book and request to join.

I am Proud to Say I am an Attached Parent

Occasionally I ask a guest to write a piece for my blog. For Attachment Parenting month I posted a simple question in my Holistic Mamas and Papas group. What does Attachment Parenting mean to you? One of my mamas wrote such a lovely paragraph I asked her to expand on her ideas for my blog. Then I invited her to be my guest on the radio to discuss parenting more. Since Emily is a fairly new mama, Lucia is still under one, I also asked  a veteran mama, Shelly Candelario, to join us on the show. Both these mamas exhibit such thoughtful caring and commitment to their kids my heart was deeply touched. They also spoke candidly about the struggle to create balance in their personal, family, and professional lives. As a veteran attached parent myself this is a very personal subject to me. I could write volumes on it and still not be done. Instead I invite you to read Emily's post. Then listen to our discussion on the radio. Next read a book, visit a La Leche League meeting or join my Holistic Mamas and Papas. You'll find all that info at the end of Emily's piece. First let her inspire you.