Your Baby or Toddler's Exposure to Toxic Flame Retardants by the Numbers

The young mother carefully positions her newborn on the nursing pillow in her lap. Being sure to latch the new baby on correctly, she begins breastfeeding. She is proud of herself for giving her baby the best food on the planet for human babies. She wants only what is best for this new little one. Unknown to her the pillow she has purchased for this most satisfying of mommy moments is covered with a toxic substance.

Far away in another city a mother lays her squirming 6 month old down to change his diaper. He has become adept at wriggling himself away from her at critical moments during the process. When he reaches out and pulls the corner of the changing pad into his mouth she breathes a sigh of relief hoping this will keep her active boy satisfied until she can finish. It never occurs to her he is ingesting a toxic chemical.

In a third town a busy mother of two is happy her toddler is keeping herself occupied scooting around on the floor while she is busy nursing the new baby and trying to get dinner. The little girl lays down on her tummy putting her face close to the rug on the floor so she can reach under a chair and pull out a forgotten toy. Her mother is completely unaware that her daughter is breathing in toxic dust.

These babies are all being exposed to flame retardants every day and so is yours. Flame retardant chemicals are put onto many products in your home; rugs, couches, drapes. They are also put on many baby products to meet fire safety standards. This was done without testing the consequences of long term exposure on humans. Here is the down and dirty info you need to know.

* 90% of Americans have flame retardants in their bodies

* 3 times higher levels of flame retardants are found in toddlers bodies than adults

* 80% of the baby products tested contained toxic or untested chemical flame retardants

* 3 products tested: car seats, changing pads and portable cribs

* 1/3 of products contained a chemical called chlorinated tris

* 40 years ago they stopped using chlorinated tris on kid's pajamas because of cancer concerns

* 1 more item included in the test: nursing pillows!

*10 times more retardant chemicals found in Americans' bodies than people in the European Union, which has banned the most common types of chemical flame retardants

*2 types of flame retardants have stopped being made due to health concerns

*2013 is the year manufacturers pledge to phase out other flame retardants

*Decades is how long these toxins will remain in most people's homes because they have been used on home furnishings. And Tris, the chemical removed from kids' sleepwear, is still commonly used in furniture foam.

For chemical free baby products visit EcoBambino in downtown SLO. Be sure to ask if the product is flame retardant free!

To read the whole story by Liz Szabo in USA Today.

Pregnancy; the first step into Motherhood

This article was written by a much loved and respected resource in our community, Dr. Zoe Wells. Over the years many of my clients and friends have benefited from Dr. Zoe’s help in healing. She brings a unique blend of education, holding a doctorate in Naturopathic Medicine with a certification in Obstetrics as well as a degree in psychology, and a gentle and caring spirit to her work.

Naturopathic Medicine is a holistic approach to healing encompassing all parts of the person; mind, body & spirit. It combines safe and effective traditional therapies with the most current advances in modern medicine. Some of the modalities Dr. Zoe is skilled at include: Herbs, homeopathy, craniosacral therapy, hydrotherapy and nutritional therapy.

Issues she has helped my clients with have included recurring yeast infections, beta strep positive test results, hormone imbalances, postpartum depression, and more. Not only has she helped them with their physical issues but the women feel so respected and cared for. On her web site Dr. Zoe says “many people have stated that this is the first time they have felt heard and have been able to share their full medical history”. I can believe this. Although pregnant women are in and out of a doctor’s office every month they often feel they are part of an assembly line. But with Dr. Zoe they work together to develop an individualized treatment plan. Dr. Zoe says, “We will always be working towards healing and what that uniquely means for you”.

I was so excited when she said she would write an article about pregnancy for my blog. When I read it I thought, “How perfect! Her thoughts on "Creating a Healthy Pregnancy" are just the right blend of mind, body & spirit.” Enjoy!

Pregnancy; the first step into Motherhood
Pregnancy is such a miraculous time for women. It often affords women a chance to hone skills that will assist them in labor and even more importantly throughout motherhood.

Pregnancy is a time of numerous changes – body changes, emotional changes, hormonal changes - all preparation for the giant step of becoming a mother. One of the lessons that pregnancy can teach women is to go beyond themselves, sometimes for the first time considering the well-being of another before their own personal needs. Women find the strength and dedication to achieve their goals in pregnancy that they could not or would not fulfill before their body was filled with another presence. With the knowledge that a woman is carrying another being, literally bringing another person into form, she is motivated to care for her body as a vehicle for miracles beyond herself.

She has more determination to eat well, not only for herself but even more importantly or so it feels, for this new body forming - for this offspring that she alone is growing and raising and that she will eventually bring out into the world. She may dedicate time to exercising and thinking of her body in a new way – as this miraculous process of birth proceeds, a woman comes to understand that her body is amazing, able to bring life, able to create family and a new richness is seen in her ability, the meaning of her life.

Women can also find it easier than ever before to avoid tobacco, alcohol, marijuana and medications during pregnancy as she sees her role as life giver. The habits of her previous life are softened and take on a different meaning when she sees the body as a vehicle for nurturing a new life. Sometimes these habits are difficult to stop and feel too challenging to manage along with the challenges of pregnancy. This is a great time to consider the meaning of these habits and coping mechanisms in contrast with this new life springing forth inside and what it is asking of the mother. Realizing that one is giving life and nurturing life within her own body, can be that extra motivation to reach beyond the “easy answers”, the habitual responses that do not serve our higher good but keep us from caring for ourselves in ways that serve our health and wellness more deeply.

During pregnancy much time and attention goes towards the event of labor often perceived as an immense obstacle to overcome, but I think it is important to recognize it as just another gateway into becoming a mother, a parent. The decisions one makes around labor and how she handles the stress of pain and an intense situation such as labor is the first of many such decisions that a mother will make as her child grows. Early infancy and childhood ask mothers to make many decisions – how to feed her baby, her philosophy around teaching her child to sleep, how to meet the baby’s and later child’s developmental needs. Parenthood requires both mother and father to constantly assess situations, know themselves, and then implement decisions regarding how best to care for their offspring. Labor is a great first step in dealing with the unexpected if that has not already occurred in pregnancy. Life does provide many opportunities for responding to the unexpected and dealing with change.

Pregnancy Health BasicsThere are choices a woman can make during pregnancy to help herself and nurture her growing baby at the same time. When the body feels like it has its own agenda, it is nice to be able to make choices that support one’s well being and sense of balance.

1. Nutrition is key in pregnancy. I consider nutrition to be #1 in terms of contributing to a healthy pregnancy. For most of pregnancy a woman needs an extra meal per day (not twice her normal meals!) to feed her changing body and the developing baby. During the first trimester when many women feel nauseous, extra whole grain carbohydrates can be beneficial such as brown rice, oatmeal or granola, sweet potatoes and cooked vegetables such as winter squashes. Miso soup also tends to calm the stomach and eggs are an easy and often well tolerated source of protein. As the appetite increases and the stomach calms, an increase in protein rich foods, vegetables and fruit are better tolerated and well needed. During the third trimester when the body feels the weight demands of the larger baby, the high quality fats are important for baby’s brain development such as nuts and seeds, fish, avocado, coconut oil and olive oil. Eating smaller meals are better tolerated with a focus on more protein and vegetables as preparation for labor.

2. Exercise. Exercise is even more important for mom than baby. Body changes during pregnancy are constant and one’s exercise routine should reflect these changes. Early on in pregnancy a woman can feel short of breath and fatigued, a time when less intense exercise is beneficial. Later when the body has adjusted to the hormonal shifts and weight changes, a woman can increase her exercise to pre-pregnancy levels if this is well tolerated. Anemia must always be taken into consideration as there is less oxygen available during anemia and exercise is not as well tolerated or supported. At the end of pregnancy many women enjoy water exercises to have moments of weightlessness where she can stretch her body and enjoy the water supporting her weight. Keeping cardiovascular health up during pregnancy helps with labor both psychologically as well as physically.

3. Avoid alcohol, tobacco, marijuana as well as decrease caffeine and sugar. These will lower incidences of pre-eclampsia, high blood sugar, high blood pressure, yeast infections and decrease the risk of medical intervention during labor, and baby needing medical assistance after labor.

4. Time for quiet and centering. With the birth of a first child life changes in ways previously not fathomed. Pregnancy may be the last time for a while when a woman has time for herself, quiet time, reflective time. I recommend taking time regularly in pregnancy to check in with yourself, see how you feel, journal, meditate, pray, hike, walk… whatever feeds your soul. Life is about to change and the more centered you are, the easier it will be to respond to those changes. You will know yourself better and have a place from which you can make the decisions that will support you and your family.
Best wishes to you in your pregnancy! What an amazing time of life, both for you and your baby – the first of many journeys you will take together.
Visit Dr. Zoe's web site!

Fresh New Pregnancy & Birth Book for Men

Finally a book by a man, for men about pregnancy and birth! As a birth educator and doula for 20 years I have read many wonderful books about birth, but I felt none of them was the kind of book a man would pick up on his own to read. Instead men have been reading the books their pregnant wives would ask them to read; the books that were full of info the women wanted their husband to know. But "Baby Daddy", by Clayton Connelly, is a book full of information men want to know. It is one dad’s humorous look at his personal journey through his woman’s first pregnancy. Connelly’s approachable writing style mixes laugh-out-loud personal experiences with sage advice from a dad who’s been there; sprinkled with just the right amount of facts and important information to open the eyes of a birth novice and get them thinking. "Baby Daddy" is the perfect gift for that friend who just found out the pitter patter of little feet is soon to be entering his life. Trying to find a way to break the news? Why not wrap it up and give it to your man or casually leave it on top of his fine bathroom literature. Although it is meant to be read in stages to go with each trimester, I guarantee once he starts he won’t want to put it down.

Clayton & his wife Jessica took my classes to prepare for the birth of their first child. Read this book to find out what was going on in Clayton's head during my classes.

Hear what the author has to say about the book: http://www.babydaddybook.com/Site/Baby_Daddy.html

Comparing Approaches to Pregnancy & Birth

"The techno-medical model of maternity care, unlike the midwifery model, is comparatively new on the world scene, having existed for barely two centuries. This male-derived framework for care is a product of the industrial revolution. As anthropologist Robbie Davis-Floyd has described in detail, underlying the technocratic mode of care of our own time is an assumption that the human body is a machine and that the female body in particular is a machine full of shortcomings and defects. Pregnancy and labor are seen as illnesses, which, in order not to be harmful to mother or baby, must be treated with drugs and medical equipment. Within the techno-medical model of birth, some medical intervention is considered necessary for every birth, and birth is safe only in retrospect." — Ina May Gaskin (Ina May's Guide to Childbirth)

Breastfeeding Resources

La Leche League International: For the best breastfeeding resources available on the planet.

Local La Leche League: group and individual support and counseling. 

Local La Leche League: face book page with meeting notices and more.
Local Warm Line: staffed by lactation consultants; telephone help, classes and one-on-one support. Call 541-BABY.

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is the easiest to read most comprehensive book available. You can borrow it from La Leche League's library section  at the Santa Lucia Birth Center in SLO 

or buy it on-line.

Andrea Herron's  Growing with Baby  private practice lactation consultant with an office in SLO.

Lindsey Law's Lactation LuLu is a private practice lactation consultant who makes home visits.

Lisa Marasco is a lactation consultant in Santa Maria. Call 937-9717.

Each of our local hospitals have lactation consultants on staff. Call the hospital where you birthed for help. Did you birth at home? Call your midwife. Need more help? All mothers regardless of where or with whom they birthed are welcome at French Hospital's Breastfeeding Clinic. Call 541-BABY.

Look for the San Luis Obispo Breastfeeding Coalition's Breastfeeding Resource Guide at your OB or pediatrician's office.

Low Milk Supply Resource: This is a serious and often complicated problem.

Interview with Lisa Marasco, author of The Breastfeeding Mother's Guide to Making More Milk: Breastfeeding  After Previous Low Milk Supply.

Nursing Nooks: As a first time mother you may be a bit shy about breastfeeding in public. This is normal. What you need is a quiet removed spot in the county to nurse while you are out and about. Find one here.

Our Local Baby Friendly Certified Hospital: Where you choose to birth impacts your chances for breastfeeding success.

A Birth I Almost Had to Miss

You never know what life is going to through your way. As a doula I know to plan ahead but plan to be flexible. A few years ago I was planning to be at Meredith and Derek's second birth. Everything was going smoothly forward with her pregnancy when we hit our first major road bump. As happens unfortunately way to often, Meredith went to a prenatal and came home with her confidence completely shook. We spent a long time talking it over on the phone. The problem appeared to be me. Her provider had indicated not being comfortable working with me. I gave her some ideas on how to dialogue with her care provider the next time she went. So she tried but felt she had hit a communication wall of bad feelings. So I asked her if it would be okay for me to meet with her provider. After sitting down and clearing the air around intentions we were all able to move forward again as a team.

Second bigger bump; shingles! As her due date approached I became extremely ill with a shingles outbreak. It took a long time and several emergency room visits for them to diagnose me. Then the treatment began. Neither Meredith or I was comfortable having me come to a birth with open shingles sores. I called up my back up doula and filled her in and told Meredith to wait for me while I threw myself into getting well ASAP. Two days before she went into labor the last of my sores healed over. 

Here is the sweet hand made card she sent me after the birth.

"Jennifer,
I can't thank you enough for all you have taught us! You gave me so much knowledge and strength. You made me realize I had an opinion and a voice and that gave me so much confidence!

Even though we had our ups and downs with your health and H., I am so blessed and couldn't be happier with how everything turned out! I don't know if that was your easiest birth but it sure was mine!! Than k you, thank you, thank you!!!

Meredith & Derek
& Silas & Brynlee Soliel

Breastfeeding

Throughout the ages mamas have been
breastfeeding.

"There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies." 

Winston Churchill

As a La Leche League leader I encourage women to breastfeed for as long as it is mutually satisfying for them and their babies. Breastfeeding is natural but not always easy. As a matter of fact for many women it is down right difficult at times. Whether you have a premature baby, physical issues, thrush, a low or over abundant milk supply, had a breast reduction, a baby with food sensitivities, returned to work, or simply have a new born at home; breastfeeding is often challenging but oh so rewarding!

Remember breastfeeding help is close at hand.

You can always email me or if you need to hear a warm supportive voice call me at 473-3746. As a League leader I have experience counseling moms with breastfeeding issues. Unfortunately as a doula I am sometimes unavailable. If you can't reach me.

Need to connect with  a lactation consultant?

Deciding about Breastfeeding or Formula Feeding? Important things to think about when choosing.

Protecting the Critical Bonding Period Immediately after Birth. 
Why? Because it affects your chances of breastfeeding success.

Amazing Breast Crawl Video: See what an unmedicated, undisturbed baby can spontaneously do! 
Babies First Bath: rethinking this tradition in light of new research.

What My Husband Didn't Do: How your partner impacts your breastfeeding success.

Breastfeeding and Working: I did it and you can too!

La Leche League's Roots: My inspiration.

Dealing with Common Challenges: Listen in as I discuss breastfeeding issues with another La Leche League leader on the radio.

Mothers around the world do it.
You can too!

Parenting Support: As a new parent you may feel at a loss about many possible decisions beyond the initial decision to breastfeed; such as, cloth vs. disposables, choosing a health professional for your baby, where should your baby sleep, schedules and more. My "Whole"istic Mamas Support Group is here for you!

Lactivism: photo essay

Breastfeeding Resources: in our community, on-line, by phone, in a book.

Mothers' Day; Thinking Globally

As Mother's Day has come and gone for another year I am confronted with the cold reality that most mothers around the world don't have what we take for granted; good quality prenatal care, access to high quality nutrition, and well trained birth attendants. These simple things hold the key between life or death for women of the developing world. The gulf between the developed world and the emerging nations is wide and deep.

Surviving Motherhood
by Ban Ki-moon, UN Secretary General

Reprint from UNICEF Philippines
UNICEF Philippines celebrates Mother's Day with the rest of the nation with a message to nurture and protect all mothers. Mothers’ Day is upon us in many countries around the world. Children of all ages will give flowers, make breakfast, call home.This is as it should be. On my travels around the world, particularly to its poorest and most troubled places, I have learned that it is mothers who keep families together -- indeed, who keep entire societies intact. Mothers are society’s weavers. They make the world go round. Yet too often, the world is letting mothers down.In the rich world, when a mother dies giving birth, we assume that something went wrong. For women in the developing world, by contrast, dying in childbirth is simply a fact of life. In some countries, one woman in eight will die giving birth. Complications from pregnancy and childbirth are the leading cause of death among girls aged 15 to 19 worldwide.Becoming a mother -- the rite of passage that Mothers’ Day celebrates -- can carry a terrible burden of fear, anxiety and loss for many women and their families.We know how to save mothers’ lives. Simple blood tests, a doctor’s consultation and someone qualified to help with the birth can make a huge difference. Add some basic antibiotics, blood transfusions and a safe operating room, and the risk of death can almost be eliminated.Recent figures show that we are making progress in helping women throughout the world. Yet we still have very far to go. Every year, hundreds of thousands of women die in childbirth, 99 percent of them in developing countries. That is why, as secretary-general, I have spoken out for the needs of mothers and pregnant women at every opportunity. I am counting on people around the world to back us in ending this silent scandal. No woman should have to pay with her life for giving life. On Mothers’ Day, let us honor mothers around the world by pledging to do everything we can to make motherhood safer for all.

Feeling inspired to do something to help our world wide community of mothers but you don't know how? Some of the members of Birth & Baby Resource Network are doing just that. These doulas have been called to work not only with birthing women here at home but they have a global commitment as well. Heather Larson went to study midwifery in Senegal and was so impacted by her experience she came home and founded Tree of Light. This non-profit is working to build a Birth House in Senegal. Terri Woods is part of a family inspired to help women have access to quality maternity care. She lives in the North County but also spends time each year working with her sister and daughter building, managing and staffing birth centers in remote areas of the Philippines. On September 22, 2010, the United Nations launched "The Global Strategy for Women’s and Children’s Health". They understand that to lift women and children out of sickness, poverty and death creates a more peaceful world for all. We all need to invest in the world's future.

Thank you to Terri Woods of Mercy in Action who posted this to her face book page.http://www.mercyinaction.com/

What’s a Parent to Do?

The American Academy of Pediatrics latest guidelines on car seat safety recently hit the news. Are you confused about which seat in your car to use, which direction to have it face and when your child can safely come out of a car seat? What about air bags? When should you move your child from full on car seat to booster seat? What about safely using seat belts with older kids and a host of other questions? The San Luis Obispo County Child Injury Prevention Coalition will be teaming up with the Birth & Baby Fair this year to answer all your questions about the new guidelines and state laws regarding car seat safety. There will be 10 certified car seat technicians on hand to check car seats for proper installation, broken parts and recalls in the parking lot next to the Historical Museum on Broad St. in SLO. The Coalition is happy to provide this service free to the community. San Luis Obispo Police Officer John Caudill, a member of the Coalition, says much of what he does is education because car seats constantly change, as well as the laws about them. This is an important year to get your questions answered Caudill clarifies because, “although these new guidelines are only recommendations they are very significant and we support the changes. They go over and above current laws in California. They aren’t the law yet but we will be lobbying the state to change California law.”

Vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death and injuries for children because they aren’t properly restrained in car seats. This led to a nation wide campaign to educate parents. Officer Caudill who attended a week long series of classes to become certified said, “The guidelines are rigid because of the little ones we are keeping safe.” Typically eighty to ninety percent of the seats checked have some sort of problem, usually misuse by parents; anywhere from just installing it too loosely to actual broken parts. Caudill explained, “We’re not going to be writing tickets. We don’t want to cite parents. We want to help fix things so they leave safer than they came.”

Bring your car and seat on Saturday May 7 from 10 to 3 or make an appointment during the Fair for a check to be done at a later date.

Birth & Baby Resource Network Celebrates!

From a booth at Earth Day to a school hallway to Garden Street to Mission Plaza; this year marks a milestone in the history of this local all women non-profit organization as we host our fifteenth annual Birth & Baby Fair. In presenting this year’s Fair BBRN is excited to be partnering with Santa Lucia Birth Center andCommunity Health Centers. We are a very small organization of dedicated volunteers and putting on the Birth Fair is a huge task each year. To have Santa Lucia Birth Center and Community Health Centers come in as co-sponsors of the Fair this year helped make our fifteenth annual a reality. Since our founding nearly 20 years ago our mission hasn't changed. It is to connect families to information and resources that help empower them to make safe decisions. The Fair is our premier community outreach event creating a network of resources for families across the spectrum of health care.

The Fair is looked forward to each year by pregnant couples and new parents all over the county as the best place to connect to health practitioners, photographers, and local craft people with ties to pregnancy, birth and babies, as well as, gathering health and safety information. There will be raffles, freebies, food and fun. The Silent Auction will have many wonderful items including a car seat donated by San Luis Obispo County Child Injury Prevention Coalition. It is BBRN’s tradition to hold the Fair the day before Mother’s Day as part of our way of celebrating motherhood and honoring the work mothers do. What started as a few booths in a school hallway has blossomed into spilling out onto the streets surrounding Mission Plaza. Come join the excitement as we celebrate from 10 to 3.

BBRN is also proud to announce the reopening of our Lending Library which had been put in storage due to earthquake retrofitting. The Library is an important part of fulfilling our mission of providing families access to information empowering them to make their own decisions surrounding pregnancy, birth & parenting. The Library is located in the Santa Lucia Birth Center on South Higuera across from Los Osos Valley Road.

Another way the Resource Network has been busy this year with community outreach is hosting monthly events on such varied topics as; “Birth from a Multicultural Perspective”, “Talking with Your Child about Sex”, “Postpartum Depression”, and “How Birth is Portrayed in the Media”. Coming in May is “Birthing an Earth Friendly Family” and June we will hold another "Meet the Midwives" night. In order to provide a wide range of topics BBRN networks with many local non-profits and individuals to present up to date information on what is currently available in our community. The environmentally friendly baby store, EcoBambino in downtown SLO graciously provides a location.

For information on events, Library hours, membership, or to access our on-line Resource Guide visit their web site at http://www.bbrn.org/.

Thank you to Marilyn Rivas Tate who took beautiful photographs of the 2010 Birth Fair !

Breastfeeding & Working: I did it and you can too!

Are you breastfeeding and working? Whether you are leaving your baby and stepping back into a suit or juggling working from home it is challenging continuing to breastfeed. I applaud you for wanting to give your baby the very best! You probably already know breast milk is nutritionally far superior to formula with long and short term health, emotional and intellectual benefits for you both. My guess is that is why you have taken on the many challenges which come with this territory.

I have first hand experience at being a working breastfeeding mom. When my son was born I was a professional horse trainer. I had continued to ride until I was almost 7 months pregnant. When I was told it was time to get off my feet I took a chaise lounge to the arena's edge and instructed students from my throne. The day I went into labor I had been helping the vet do lameness exams. In the throes of labor it floated into my consciousness that it was Sunday; I was missing the local horse show. Clutching my husband's hand I whispered I would rather be at the show. After about 2 weeks off I packed my baby up and headed back to the barn. By 5 weeks I was pumping and leaving him home with his dad one day a week having compresssed all my students' riding lessons into one day. That first day I don't know which ached more when I got home to our little Shell Beach home, my arms from longing to hold him, my heart from the separation or my boobs!

My son went to the barn with me 5 days a week until he was about 11 years old. Through teething, weaning, learning to walk, ride a bike, skate board and scooter, homeschooling and more I mothered him in the midst of my professional life. It required patience, flexibility, daring and determination on my part. I guess it required that from Joe as well. It was a conscious choice on both our parts that we wanted to be together. Somehow we made it work for both of us. Every day was different because he was growing and changing, so I was constantly having to shift gears and learn something new; step into unknown mommy territory.

During our breastfeeding stage I didn't know anyone else who was doing what I was doing. I'm sure they were out there but I didn't know them. If I had gone to a La Leche League meeting I could have connected to women who were also blending their career and mommyhood. I sure could have used the ideas and encouragement. Unfortunately I didn't know League existed so I blazed my own trail with my son riding double behind.

Now there is an evening La Leche League meeting which speaks to the specific issues of breastfeeding while working. On the 4th Monday women and their babies are gathering at Santa Lucia Birth Center to share, laugh, decompress and advise one another. In a warm friendly atmosphere important bits of information are passed from woman to woman, such as, which breast pump worked the best for you, how did you work that through with your boss, how has your husband been able to help, or how do you get enough sleep at night to go to work the next day. The conversation is different every time. Although there is a general discussion topic, questions or concerns about anything are always welcome. Of course once you get home from work it may feel insurmountable to go out of the house again. But if you can get yourself to come to just one meeting I think you will find yourself re-energized with good mommy feelings and recommitted to giving your baby the best. Don't forget if you bring the baby Dad gets a night to re-energize too!

Newest Addition to the Labor of Love Family

What a difference an hour and a half can make in one family's life!

"This little piggy went to market"... Big brother says hello.

Baby bliss!

Photos courtesy of Cindy Franklin Photography

Photo Essay: A Santa Lucia Birth Center Birth

Parker Wilson became a part of one of my favorite familys on January 14.
Between Heather and John, brother and sister, I have been honored to be included in 4 of their family centered births; one at General Hospital, two at home and this one at the new birth center.

Peace Before the Storm

Shortly after arriving Mom and Dad settle into the birth tub. Candles, a beautiful serene room and a warm tub to relax in; exactly the experience Heather and Mike were looking for.

Moments Old

After an intense pushing phase Parker enters this world surrounded by family. Everyone crowds around the big double bed as tears of joy flow freely from Mom, Dad, Grandma, Aunt Emily and Uncle John. Still wet with amniotic fluid Parker is placed in Heather's loving arms to warm and dry.

First Step Toward Independence

After Parker has made the change to oxygenating his own blood, Dr. Dietrich, Licensed Midwife, deftly guides the new Dad through the ritual of cutting the cord that connects Mom and baby.

Precious Moments

Mom, Dad and Parker undisturbed together in the big bed with hearts over flowing. Time stands still. Disbelief that it is over quickly turns to awe.

Exploration

Heather and Mike tenderly get to know their new son. Amazed at his size. Wondering, at how vigorous, alert and healthy he is. The first hour of smell, touch and taste unwinds at its own unhurried pace. Loving gazes and excited exclamations of, "He has your nose" and "Look how long his fingers are" draw the new baby into the family.

Vital Statistics

After sufficient time has passed Dr. Dietrich starts the newborn assessments with the traditional weighing followed by a complete health screening of the new arrival done on the bed with Mom and Dad close at hand.

Life Begins

After only 3 hours Heather, Mike and baby Parker are ready to head home to start their new life together. They will be visited tomorrow by a midwife to make sure they are settling into their babymoon.

********
As a doula I am blessed to meet and work with many families. I met Heather 9 years ago when she needed someone to guide her and Valerie, her mother, through the birth of Heather's second son. This wonderful extended family accepted my help with open arms. Each birth has been unique. Each experience has had its own challenges along the way. My only regret is that I think this will be the last birth for a while. I'll have to wait for the next generation to start having babies but when they do; I'm there!

Connection

Pfieffer Rose and her daddy; love at first sight! This little girl is one of the strongest, smartest babies I know. She knew exactly how to take care of herself and patiently waited for all of us professionals to figure it out. She taught me just how brilliant babies are and the importance of tuning in to listen to what they are trying to tell you during birth.

Welcome Baby Brinlee!

Your birth brings healing and joy out of past pain, fear and suffering. You are the best valentine gift; a family complete.

When Midwives Disagree

Midwives are human beings with all the good and bad that goes with that. The alternative birth community would like to present to the rest of the world a rosy picture of loving, nuturing and everyone getting along. They often paint the medical establishment as evil in contrast to themselves the angles of mercy and caring. Unfortunately in my experience this is far from the truth. The alternative birth community is just as full of politics, power stuggles and personalities as every other human endeavour. Money, group dynamics and territory are often issues. Opposing belief systems and practice protocols often clash. Often skills, abilities and safety get dragged into the fight. Yesterday I ran into just such a situation playing itself out on face book. It prompted me to write "A Good Midwife". Later I realized I wasn't done with my thinking on this topic. I wanted to explore how I felt about some of the underlying issues that I believe get in the way of building true community, true connection.

I believe:
The moment we think we know it all is the moment we stop learning. The moment we are convinced we know the TRUTH is the moment we stop seeking the truth. The moment we only see our differences is the moment we miss the opportunity to connect through our common bonds. The moment we believe there is only one way is the moment we have closed ourselves off to a world of possibilities. To think that we know all there is to know about something as complex and miraculous as birth is the height of egotism. Egotism is the opposite of midwifery, to be WITH woman, not above, not below but with. By being “with” we can learn much and we can teach much. From this all life flows.

A Good Midwife

Today I stumbled upon an online debate over different views of midwifery. As commonly happens in arguments each side seemed to think it was all or nothing. You must either believe totally in the rightness of their side or you were evil; a danger to your unsuspecting clients.

This got me thinking. As a doula I have been in the unique position of watching many different midwives and doctors working with birthing women. I have been present in hospitals, homes and a birth center. I have listened to women grieving and traumatized by their births. Contrary to popular homebirth myth these did not all happen in hospitals. There are times when women suffer terribly after their homebirth. Sometimes they are speaking to me during those early postpartum weeks and sometimes it is years later during their next pregnancy.


After listening and watching here are some of the things I believe makes a good midwife no matter where she practices.

A midwife needs to know when to keep her hands out of a client and when to put her hands in.

A midwife needs to have the ability to be patient, to move slowly and carefully and the ability to move quickly, decisively and without hesitation.

A midwife needs to absolutely trust birth, and a woman's instincts and birth intuitions, and yet be skilled enough to know when a woman needs guidance.

A midwife needs to know how to let the laboring woman be center stage, the lead in the play, while she is prepared to step in as needed in the supporting role, as the hero or just make a cameo appearance.

A midwife balances equally the importance of the mother's experience with the mother's and baby's safety.

A midwife needs to know when to lead and when to follow.

A midwife needs to know the depth of the waters she is swimming in and is prepared to transfer care when she is out of her depth.

A midwife needs to know how to guide without taking over control.

A midwife needs to know all the variations of normal, what they look like, what they sound like, what they feel like so she can help her clients be unafraid.

A midwife needs to know how to help without rescuing. A midwife needs to have the skills and character to rescue when it is needed.

A midwife needs to be skilled at suturing tears and vigilant at trying to prevent them.

A midwife needs to be able to monitor the health of the mom and baby through skilled and timely assessments, heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature without interrupting the flow of labor.

A midwife needs to understand every birth follows its own unique timeline and plan and that sometimes that plan includes transferring care or surgical birth.

A midwife needs to create a relationship of trust with her clients and has a responsibility to not break that trust.

A midwife needs to be able to speak to both the instincts and the intellects of her clients.


I have a deep respect for all the midwives I have watched supporting, guiding and sometimes rescuing my clients over the years. The work is complex, physical, emotional and draining. When births go as planned the midwife will be an adored friend for life. When births aren't the fantasy a woman imagined, the midwife will be blamed forever. It is often very difficult for the birthing woman to grasp all the pieces of what happened and why because she was in the thick of labor. Without real understanding, it is natural to blame the person she imagined was to keep all bad things from happening; the midwife. There are no perfect midwives, just as there are no perfect people. They are simply flawed humans with strengths and weaknesses just like the rest of us.


Thank you to Edana Hall, Brenda Ramler, Sandy Rodriguez, Tiffany Dietrich, Lisa Winick, Linda Seeley, Helen Cominos, and JoAnne Tarkington for devoting your careers to caring about women.

Do you have thoughts on what makes a good midwife? Comment here or email me: jjmstover@sbcglobal.net.

Wonder How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex?

Your five-year-old child casually looks up from his plate of mac and cheese and utters some of the words most feared by parents,“Where do babies come from?”
Your heart races; a million thoughts and feelings flood in.“Oh my gosh! Why is he asking me this? How should I answer? Why does it feel like my heart just sank into my shoes? What is the RIGHT answer to this most important parenting test? What do I SAY?”

We all know the questions are coming. We wonder when and how we will react. So why are we left feeling astonished and unprepared for these natural questions, and why are they difficult to answer? Basic questions about human biology are no different than your child’s desire to know where stars come from
or how fish breathe in water.

Children are miniature scientists with a burning desire to explore and know their world. It is this same human desire that has propelled us to the moon, written
the most profound literature and created the most exquisite art. And yet, as an adult, we see the layers of complexity wrapped up in such a simple question and it makes our palms sweat.

Our deepest desire as a parent is to say the right thing to our child to start them on a life-long path of shared values surrounding sex and sexuality. We understand the importance of getting this right, but we can find ourselves at a loss for words.

Help is on the way! As part of Birth & Baby Resource Network’s on-going mission to support and educate parents, they are sponsoring “Opening the
Door: Talking with your Child about Sex.” This workshop is designed to empower parents of preschoolers and school-age children to become “askable”
parents right from the start.

Workshop leader Sue Simonson, I.C.C.E, is the founder of the Without Regret foundation, whose motto is “Children not taught by their parents, will be
taught by the world.” Sue helps parents understand why this can be a difficult subject, and she offers strategies for becoming your child’s primary sexuality
educator.

Simonson has been a birth, family and sexuality educator for 30 years. She does not feel it is her place to advocate either abstinence or safe sex. Instead, Sue views her role as enabling parents to communicate with their children about their own values. She has prepared thousands of parents to answer their children’s questions about sexuality openly and honestly, based on their own family beliefs. Sue equips parents to more confidently tackle the sensitive topic of sexuality with the theme statement, “If we are not answering their questions at ages 2 and 3, they will not be asking at ages 12 and 13.” As a childbirth
educator for pregnant teens, she is inspired to do this work with the hope that parents of teens won’t hear those other words that strike terror in a parent’s heart, “Mom, Dad, I think I’m pregnant.”

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to build a foundation of open communication about sexual issues on Tuesday, February 22nd from 6:00 to 9:00 pm at 1490 Southwood Drive in San Luis Obispo.
Pre-register at www.bbrn.org or call 473-3746.
Tickets will be $10 at the door.

Parents are advised to use their
best judgment regarding their
children’s attendance.

Having a Baby? Read these books...

One April a few years ago I picked up the phone. It was Brenda Ramler, a local midwife calling.

"Hi. I'm working on a recommended reading list. Do you have any books you think I should include?" Brenda is someone you can always count on to get straight to the point; a real straight shooter. One of the straightest shooters I have known in my life.

"Why? What's up?" I on the other hand am an information gatherer. I never like to express my opinion until I feel I know all the facts. You know, a lay of the land type person.

"I'm working on something to hand out at the Fair. I have a list but I'm looking for new ideas to add to it." She was talking about Birth & Baby Resource Network's annual Birth & Baby Fair. This fair was almost as old as BBRN itself and Brenda & I had been involved in some way every year since its founding.

That's another thing about Brenda, she is a worker. She never sees something she feels needs to be done and says, "I'm too tired" or "too busy." Besides that she is an organizational wizard and perhaps one of the most detail oriented people I know. On top of that she is passionate about birth. I should say natural birth. Birth the way she feels it was meant to be. Her vision of birth encompasses pregnancy, birth and parenting. To her birth is one piece of the whole; not an isolated, stand alone event.

She has strong opinions about all of it and doesn't mind sharing them. Actually I believe she feels it is her calling to share them with women and their families; a duty to herself and to God. Of course she shared them with her clients, but she would also share them with pregnant women she met at a coffee shop or in line at the grocery store. She moves through the world strong in her beliefs that women need to know. Why? So they can be responsible for themselves, for their births and for their babies.

This is not a unique belief in the "alternative" birth world. It is the founding principle of BBRN and many other organizations, but Brenda is unique in her power of conviction and willingness to clearly state the truth without fear of repercussions. Many people find this not an endearing trait. But as far as I can tell it never fazed Brenda what other people thought of her. She brought that power, conviction and confidence to every birth. It served her clients well.

She safely caught lots of San Luis Obispo county babies during her years here. She educated many women in their birthing and mothering abilities. She made an impact in our world one family at a time. She also impacted our birth community; educating assistants, doulas, teachers, and even doctors and midwives. I was one of those people. I was lucky enough to doula at a few homebirths with Brenda and she always made herself available to discussclient issues or situations. Now she has moved on to new adventures in new places with her husband. The women whose lives she touched will never forget her. Myself included.

Recently I found a copy of the list of books Brenda and I spoke about that day on the phone. I was in the home of one of her assistants who is currently training to be a midwife. I recognized it as soon as I saw it and asked Heather if I could have a copy. Many of these books are classics. The basics of birth and parenting do not change but the context of the cultural/financial politics which surround it continually changes. These books continue to be relevant because the underlying foundation of greed, power and mistrust of women's bodies remain as a constant at the core of our birth culture. I am happy to announce that these books and many others will soon be on loan again through the Birth & Baby Resource Network in the library at the Santa Lucia Birth Center.

Here is Brenda's Recommended Reading List:
Nutrition/Exercise
***********
Active Birth
Janet Balaskas

The Vegetarian Mother's Cookbook
local author Cathi Olson

Pregnancy & Childbirth
************
American Way of Birth
Jessica Mitford

A Wise Birth
Penny Armstrong

Birth as an American Rite of Passage
Robbie Davis-Floyd

Birth Reborn
Michel Odent

Gentle Birth Choices
Barbara Harper

Immaculate Deception II
Suzanne Armstrong

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way
Susan McCutcheon

Pursuing the Birth Machine
Marsden Wagner

Special Delivery
Rahima Baldwin

Pregnant Feelings
Rahima Baldwin

Choosing Waterbirth
L. Bertram

Seasons of Change: Growing through Pregnancy & Birth
Suzanne Arms

Creating a Joyful Birth
Lucia Capprioni

Mind Over Labor
Carl Jones

Cesarean/VBAC
********
Open Season
Nancy Cohen

Birthing from Within
Pam England & Robin Horowitz

Rights & Responsibilities
****************
Birthing Normally
Gayle Peterson

Birth Your Way
Shiela Kitzinger

Obstetric Myths Versus Research Realities
Henci Goer

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
Henci Goer

Breastfeeding
*******
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
La Leche League International

The Nursing Mother's Companion
local author Kathleen Huggins

Babies & Children
**********
Natural Medicine for Children
J. Scott

Take Charge of Your Child's Health
G. Wootan

The Baby Book
Dr. Sears

Pregnancy Nutrition

Pregnancy is such a tremendous time of growth; personal growth, family growth, spiritual growth and intellectual growth. It is an incredibly important time to nourish ourselves on many levels. Of course nourishing our bodies and therefore our babies is the most important thing we can do to insure a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby and healthy birth and yet most pregnant women in the US receive very inadequate nutritional guidance from their care providers. In my classes I explain the connections between feeding ourselves correctly and preventing pregnancy complications, such as, diabetes, pre-eclampsia, low birth weight babies, and high blood pressure.

The couples I work with come to me with all different nutritional profiles. Some have specific diets, such as, vegan or gluten free. Some eat out a lot, while others do all their own organic cooking. Many buy most of their foods at the standard grocery store, while others believe they are feeding themselves more healthily by buying packaged foods from Trader Joe’s. What ever their level of nutritional awareness they usually need to make some adjustments to fully support a healthy pregnancy. I encourage couples to not change everything about their diet at once. Instead choose 1 big thing a week to change, such as, buying organic produce and make 2 or 3 healthier choices a day, such as, adding an additional piece of fruit to their breakfast or eating a hard boiled egg as a snack. These little changes add up over time. Pregnant women need to constantly be on the look out for ways to eat nutritionally dense foods because at the same time space in their stomachs shrink their babies’ nourishment need grows.

My work gives me the opportunity to learn new things all the time. I asked Courtney to write an article about whole foods eating. I knew nothing about it myself. Her article blew me away with the depth of her knowledge and the depth of my nutritional ignorance. Warning! This article is very intellectually dense, in other words, it is packed with info. I encourage you to read it carefully and digest it slowly. Use it to guide you in making some simple changes, such as, what oil you use for cooking or what type of bread you buy. Don’t let the depth of it overwhelm you into not utilizing the information. Instead look for the nuggets that fit with your life style or that seem to call to you. Maybe you want to change the salt you use or drink water at a different time of day. Definitely find one recipe to try. For me I’m going to try baking plantains and making her Apple-Raspberry Spice Rice. It sounds delicious and I always have a little left over rice hanging around. Don’t you?


Read Courtney's article for nutritional enlightenment!


Get her recipes here.